The Butterfly Program

Im excited, and glad that i have this program to help me achiee my goals! As you all know my best buddy is getting married in November! well she also works at fernwood and she told me about this butterfly program. I was like sweet i would love to do it! The butterfly program is over 12 weeks and is about personal growth and development. Every week we have a topic and we also need to pick two goals, one healthy eating goal and one personal goal.

Week 1 - Where i want to be in 12 weeks time? I said to sheree that i would love to be 70kgs by your wedding, i want to decrease my body fat, i want to start running, i am not drinking any alcohol for 12 weeks and im not concentrating on my weight over the 12 weeks. Its about my body fat, my cms and my health and fitness.

My goals this week for health eating was to cut my portion sizes down and my personal goal was to go into the gym at least 3 times!

My motivation has been great i didn't have seb on wednesday nite and i went into the gym, me and him went for a walk into town on wednesday and my alarm was set for 5.45am Thursday morning and i went and did a work out before work!!! i am so bloody proud of myself!

So i had some homework to do this week! and that was to create a box of the life i want and who i am... I have been having fun doing it! im not finished with it yet and i have decided to leave the bottom of the box blank for when i have finished this program to add more stuff to see how things have changed!!! i also have to think of rewards for myself and how often i want these rewards, so if anyone has any ideas please let me go!!

Im really motivated and inspired right now and everything in my life is balanced! Im grateful for everything that i have and everything that i have achieved to this date! and things are only going to get better from here.

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and catch you all soon

Beautiful Butterfly

Vanessa - (Greek) means beautiful butterfly

That is my goal is to feel like a beautiful butterfly - not only have i started my PT's again - oh i feel sore today, but i am also joining a 12 week program called the Butterfly program. I don't know much about the program at this stage, i will find out more this afternoon at my first session... But i do know that we set out goals, I do challenges every week and I do a vision box which i am looking forward to doing!!! Sooo i feel great that i am using all my resources to get myself back on track! Im sick of my weight yo yoing and im sick of feeling like shit!

My coughing has finally settled down, and i am so happy about that!! Now its time to get my fitness back on track and lose some weight, body fat and most of those some CM's.

More about the butterfly program later!!!

Welcome to July

Welcome to July. End of financial year and the start of the new one... Tax Time!! I LOVE!!!! and welcoming the rain!!! SOoo i have microsoft money on my computer and i have decided that this financial year i am going to see how much i spend and what on etc etc!! taking control of my finances :) About time i do that i think!! Im excited about do this because it will be interesting to see where i spend my money! i think sebastyn, but you just never know!

Lee and Taj just left and that was lovely too see them!! the boys always run a muck when they are together. I vaccumed and mopped the house yesterday! and ummmmm you can't tell :)

Well i hope that everyone has had a good weekend and relaxed and ready for another working week! I am going to be starting a new program at the gym ill fill you in more when i know all the details!! Help me to reach my goals!!

Cut My Head Off!! PLEASE

I want someone to cut my head off. I know our body only gives us enough pain that we can deal with but right now i am over this sore throat! i have had it for about a week now, well basically since i gave up the ciggas soo 2 weeks really!! and its frustrating me!!! i have now started garglling the salt to try and get rid of whatever infection i have there!!

My sister and nephew are coming to play with seb and i tomorrow and i am sooo looking forward to seeing them both since its been soooo long!!!!

Last nite Ails and I went out for tea at barzurk!! it was so yum!! anthony Munden was in town and we were going to go see him but an early nite called us both!!

then an 8am message from ails this morning that she forgot to send me last nite, woke me and i was out of bed and in at the gym by 8.30am!!! a hour cardio workout to start the day was awesome and then some shopping for the soul!!! brought two jumpers and a workout top for the gym!!!

And i just have to end this post with go BOMBERS~!!!!!

Have an awesome rest of the weekend everyone!

Body Change

My body is going through some huges changes right now, and god damn can i feel it!
As you all know i work at a chiropractor and in the last week I think i have had an adjustment nearly every day! Giving up the smoking, and getting rid of all these chemicals out of my body, is making it all scooo wifff!!!!

I am having some serious issues with my lower back and legs at the moment, so i have booked in for a massage today hoping that this will help eleviate some of the pain that i am feeling at the moment! I am wondering when this cough will go away also! i think if i cough anymore i am going to cough my lungs up!!! My sense of smell has come back... i can't believe it!! Its so funny when you smoke you don't smell smoke on someone, but adam came around the other nite, after being at a mates places and i was like grose you smell like smoke go away!!!

Soo yesterday was my first day at the gym!! And i did just take it easy as i need to get my back right and need to stop coughing before i go bullet a gate and work myself so hard i can't walk :) hehehe........ I felt really good about exercising, and i have missed it!!! I weighed myself, and i have put my current weight on the blog for you all to see. I am basically start from scratch again!!! but this time its going to be maintained..

Sooo today i am suppose to be going for a walk with Sebastyn, but the sky doesn't look very healthy right now, and i don't own a rain coat!!! I might sneak into the gym before my massage tonite!

The Power of Compliments!

Sooo i went through and did my weight and my measurements, and im pretty disguisted with myself! But i am now on the right path......

I was telling my bosses yesterday how i now have 4 months to get my arse into gear because im sick of feeling like shit and looking like a plump right now, and one of my bosses said to me i just wanted to tell you that i was looking at our website on the weekend(our work one) and how lovely we think you look in it. I didn't know what to say!!! i was like aww thanks. Then she went on to say we were going to sit down with you and tell you that its time you start looking after yourself... but after what i had told her about getting my arse into gear they didn't need to.

So i have now got a little book that i am taking to work with all my dates, goals, and plan for them to have for me, and make me accountable for doing my tasks!!! By having my goals and dates written down it makes it achievable for me.. by not putting a date down for having my goals achieved it could happen when ever.. but having the date I KNOW i have to do it!!

Anyway i just thought it was nice getting a compliment from my bosses who i didn't think would do something like that! Its nice to have someone out of the blue tell you that you look lovely!!! Its always from someone that never expect!!!

Sooooo watch out blog world. Ness is on her way!!!

My Best Friends Wedding!

My Best Friends Wedding is coming up at the start of November which gives me 4 months basically to get my arse into gear!

I have been lazy and not motivated about getting the body i want! I have now quit smoking which is the first step for me to get my body healthy! Today is 7 days since i last had a smoke. It has been easy this time! i think my big test will be when i go out again! which won't be for a while because i am giving up the grog also!

My body has been going through detox the last week! I don't know how much more my lungs can cough up. I think i will be coughing my lungs up soon.

So my aim by the end for today is going to have all my measurements done, and I will weigh myself at work tomorrow, and to have a program worked out that i shall follow to help me get my arse back into the gym and get my body to where i want it to be!!

Its time to kick some arse, this has dragged on for way to long. My frame of mind is where it needs to be, i just need all my friends to keep me going and to support me. If i am being lazy kick my arse :)

So on that note ill leave you with this quote today;

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing."

Deep & Meaningful

We have just done some new quotes for our walkbox at work and i was reading through them and there was one that just clicked with me and i had to share it.

Until today, you may have beeing waiting for someone to tell you something or give you something that would make you feel ok. Just for today give yourself permission to be ok with yourself. Accept that who you are and where you are is just right. Iyanta Vanzant

I read this quote and i cried. It really hit my heart with some issues that i have been trying to deal with. For so long i have been wanting a certain person in my life to tell me how proud they are of me, and that i have done a great job raising sebastyn and they are proud of my achievements and who i am today! and i read this quote and it hit me, I don't need there approval, because as long as i believe in my heart that i have done everything to the best of my ability thats all that should matter!

It would be nice to hear it from that person, but everything in life is balanced. Just because they don't tell me i hear it from other people, but i have not been acknowledging it because i have been thinking its not the same. Does that make sense.

So one quote has been a real eye opener for me and has put alot of things in perspective.

One that note i am going to leave you with this beautiful picture of Sebastyn doing cool dude. (wearing my beanie)

Mobile Phone

My darling son decided to drop my mobile phone in a cup of water so please could you email me your phone numbers to ness@aanet.com.au

Cheers Ness

Sweet Child of Mine!!! Not

Ok so today is my day off where i am suppose to relax and enjoy the day with sebastyn and do a little plodding around the house!! LOL!!! Well my dear child decided at 12am this morning that it wasn't time to sleep it was time to watch DVD's and scream and scream and scream some more! Soo about 4.30am he decided that it was time to finish watching dvds and go to sleep.. Finally well i thought ok you have not slept for 4 hours you will sleep in in the morning hahahahahaha fat chance of that happening at 8am he was wide awake bright as a button!!!

Im glad one of us was! Soo we went out in the cold and did some shopping then i had my review at work this afternoon and i asked De if she could please adjust him and my god you should of seen the leg length difference he had i am not joking it was about 3 CMS which is huge!! which also would be causing some discomfort for him! Sooo right now he is sleeping, while i update my blog and smell the lamb roast that i am cooking for tea which should be ready soon!

Off to seb's nans tonite where he will have a sleep over, and i will get a good night rest and be able to enjoy Prison Break in Peace. at about 3pm this afternoon i was about to put him on a plane to his fathers for the rest of the week! He is going through terrible 2's alright.

GYM
I was a little bit thrown aback today! i got a phone call from my gym to say i have not been in for a while.. well hello as if i didn't know that! I just thought are you desperate or something?? I will come in when im bloody ready too! Im finding it really hard to get motivated at the moment and I think thats because i got some issues i need to deal with, which im not ready to deal with which is why im holding back going to the gym! arggghhhh *sighs*

i think thats about it for now! stay safe everyone and ill leave you with this fact.

every 24 hours our body grows 34mm of hair

Tagged!

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

(1) At every sink in my house i have hand wash
(2) I am addicted to Jaga Bombs (hehehehe)
(3) My favourite colour is red
(4) My ultimate goal is to own a porsche
(5) I can't sit still
(6) I am missing my family
(7) I need a holiday!!

And I tag whoever :)

Rehab!

Okkkkk.. so i admit it!! i am a self proclaimed alcoholic right now :) If i stopped drinking i would probably lose 5 kgs! Im having a good time right now! i am enjoying going out and i am enjoying getting myself drunk and feeling shit the next day and waking up and wanting maccas or fish and chips as my hang over cure!! I am enjoying dancing and getting home at 6am in the morning! Is it right? probably not? am i hurting anyone? Yes.... myself so who has to live with that?? ME!!! I do!!!

I feel like i have gone off the rails! i admit that! i feel like i have got to a point in my life where i don't give a fuck anymore about anything..... I am feeling insecure about myself again, and who am I, and what i want out of life and where i want my life to go!! Its time for some soul searching again, where how and when i will do that, i don't know! My time is very limited right now, i find it hard to even have time to scratch my own arse.

I was saying to bekkie today!!! i am so tired and where has the me time gone??? LOL out the window!!!! My weeks with seb are my weeks with seb, my weeks without seb, i drink, go out catch up with my mates, and work, and i don't have my me time!!! am i making sense? I am missing my me time, but i don't like being alone right now!!! I don't want to be alone right now!! Maybe im scared because that soul searching will start when i am by myself, my brain will start thinking and i don't think i am ready for the answers just yet, because deep down i know what they are going to be and im not ready to face it!!

My head is so jumbled right now! My perspective on so many things is very fuzzy, I honestly thought that I was on track of things and knew the direction i wanted to take! Mmmmmm i have hit that fork in the road and don't know which way to go!!!

Something will happen and it will all become clear again i know, but until then, 1800 rehab/ show me the way......... is on the cards!! LOL!!!

Weekend

Wow what a weekend i have had!!

Where do i start??????? Mmmm maybe with Friday!!

Friday

Friday nite was awesome! I got to baby sit the wonderful behaved Bradman. Which was lots of fun but i was very tired. Ails came over for some catch up and some drinks, and filled me in on her precious baby (the cat)!!! Becks was here for a while before she hit the town to boggy!! For a well deserved nite out.

Sooo everything was going fine and lil bradman decided to wake up at 4am..... Sebbie heard his lil cry and came into my bed with me and bradman and was asking bradman if he was ok?? it was very cute!!! so the boys layed in bed and i tried to get some Zzzzz's but was a little scared to shut my eyes just incase the boys got up and ran a muck around the house!!! Lil Sebbie went back to sleep and bradman layed there will his eyes opened not making a boo!! So i thought ok i will see if he will go to sleep in sebs bed!! so off we went and he finally went to sleep.. only 5 minutes and he was awake again!! i finally got him back to sleep and then 5 mintes later he was awake again!! by this time it was about 6am, and both boys decided it was time to be wide awake............

Saturday

6am start. two boys in the mood for some early rising and some early fun!! straight to sebastyn rooms to pull out all the toys and see what they could play with!!! both giggling and next minute!! this one for you beck *i see a fire truck a big red shiny fire truck* started playing. Bradmans favourite toy!! its a ride on car.. that has music buttons that you press!!! Ohhhhh my poor tired eyes where not in the mood for it!! but i just let it go!!!! They were having a good time and thats all that matters!!

Sooooo for breakfast!! Mmmmmm coco pops :) hehehe what a treat :) bradman loved using his hands and putting the cocopops everywhere and watching seb how to use a spoon.. it was sooo much fun :) Becks turned up about 8.30am that morning after an awesome nite out. I so glad that you got the opportunity to go out and boggy for the nite girl... any time you want to do that just let me know :)

So the rest of the day was sleeping and attending to sebastyn and catching up on so doing nothing time..... Its good with seb out on lightening macqueen on finding nemo and i can have a shower and the hang the washing out and know that his eyes won't move from that tv..

Got some DVDs out with adam and we watched the pursuit to happyness and another one but i fell alseep in that movie :)

Sunday

Wow what an emotional day this was... CJ and I ventured to Kyabram for my sister Red Kite day and to see 19 people shave their heads. Two of the locals where younger people who had both losted sisters to cancer so they were getting their head shaved also in memory!!

It was a very emotional day!!!! Please find some photos below

So my sister got her head shaved for a good cause and has since told me she is very cold :)

ohh and one final thing ended up with seb in hospital with croup and a middle ear infection.. he is heaps better now...

Well thats the fill in from last weekend....

Two Weeks Gone

Heya everyone

I can't believe its been two weeks since my last post. How lazy am I. Its been a very very full on couple of weeks with my emotions been battered and bruised in lots of ways possible.

My sister and Her husband have decided to seperate after 4 years of marriage and a 3 year old son. as you all know i am very close to them so it has hit me like a tonne of bricks! Im here to support them all and that will never change. It made me re think my life and where im headed and what i want for my son and my life, and for Adam! Why is it that something like this always makes you think of your own relationships! Im not saying that tomorrow adam and I will be back together because that is far far from my mind, but it has opened my eyes to the way that i want to treat him and how i want to be treated and how I want Seb to know that his mum and dad love him very much no matter what happens and that we are both here from him! Family is so important to me and i want that normaility for sebastyn. Adam and I have been spending lots of time together with seb and with each other and it has been nice because, i am getting to know adam again on the friends level! Which we didn't really do when we first got together. I think our relationship has changed for the good!

Work has been crazy crazy crazy which is good. I was in sydney on the weekend for a seminar which was nice! I like sydney, its very different atmosphere to Melbourne and i found the air to be alot nicer and fresher than Melbs. sorry to all you melbs people :)

Im going to kyabram on the weekend as my sister is getting her hair shaved for red kite day. To raise money for families with children who have cancer! I am planning to get lots of before and after photos.

I have been hanging out with some new people here in Bendigo which has been great! Im getting out there and meeting people! which i should have done a bloody long time ago!

I am missing my friends though and you know who you are and I can't wait to catch up with you all soon.

Have a great week and weekend and I am so not waiting another couple of weeks to update you!

Take Care everyone and know that i am thinking of everyone.

PS Becks and Bradman it was so good to see you both on Monday! Beck your looking beautiful as ever and i must admit your looking healthy and relaxed :) Bradman is growing up so much and to hear him talking was great!! He is growing every day babes :) See you soon
xxx

Question - Update & a bit of that

ok the last couple of weeks














Spot Seb!!! hehehe was his birthday and i brought him a black board! he loves it. The following weekend adam and I took him to see Thomas and Friends, he loved going on all the different trains. It was a hot day and because it was so dry it was very dusty!! But it was a good to be able to show Seb that we can still do family things together :)


















I had the pleasure of looking after bradman a couple of weekends ago now for a few hours while Beck was at the hospital with Matty :) He is just a doll of a child and he had soooo much fun playing with all of sebs toys and exploring and having a good old laugh with my brother. I am glad to hear that Matt is recovering well. I am thinking of you Becks and missing you. Hope to see that beautiful smile of yours soon. The picture over is the house that we stayed in in Torque it is my sisters bosses house. It was awesome!!! it was such a nice weekend to spend with the family even though the weather was not the greatest for us until we decided to come home! We took the boys to the beach and seb was very scared... My dad got some funny photos so i will have to get them off him to load on here!!
















This was picture from upstairs!!!! further around to your right you could see the beach.....



It was so nice to have the family time together even though the boys were very cheeky and full on!!!!!! Seb hates being apart from Taj so night time was very aweful as seb would cry and cry and throw himself until he finally went to sleep.



What else is news!! its my last day of holidays tomorrow and then back to work!!! Its been nice to be able to spend a few days to myself, and i have enjoyed just being able to get up when i please and not have to worry about going to work and having seb ready by certain hour for creche!!!



Its pouring down rain here at the moment which is beautiful its funny how you miss what you don't have and then when you get it you wish it was a nice day :) does that make sense??



I am in the middle of budget planning at the moment as i want to buy a block of land but need more money that i thought to put the deposit on!! so give it another 12 months and i will own something of my own which i am very excited about !! then eventually maybe i will build my dream home :)



I have not step foot in the gym this week which i am both happy and sad about as it was the perfect opportunity for me to work my arse off for a week but on the other hand i have been on holidays so i just wanted to chill!!!



Well i think thats all for the moment!!!! Hope everyone else is doing well and i shall be catching up on your blogs over the next couple of day!!! I have beennnnn so slack




Ohhh and one last thing!!! i married my dream man :) Vin Diesel :) Mmmmmmmmm

Im Alive

Heya all

Sorry for the lack of post and comments lately, life has been very hectic at the moment. I have until Friday off work so i will endevour to update with some photos and stories over the last couple of weeks!

I have been in Torquay for the last 4 days and got home today, so now catchuing up on the house work and hundred loads of washing that comes from being away!

Well hope everyone is well!

Ness

Thoughts!

I could write about how i had a great weekend and that adam and i took seb to see Thomas and Friends in Maldon on the weekend (will have to post the pictures at a later date) but today i am really going to talk about my thoughts.

It is something I haven't done in a while and thought it was time to do!!!

I am 25 year old single mum with a 2 year old son with my whole life ahead of me and the whole world around me with so many opportunities that are out there for me, but for so long something has been holding me back.

I was in a relationship with a false me, a fake identity if you would like to say that, i was NOT being true to myself! I have my job, my friends and my family to thank for helping me find my way again. But really i should be thanking myself! I don't thank myself enough! Thanks Vanessa from bringing out the True you! I lost who i was for a very long time, i lost my friends my family and my happiness for someone I loved and who i thought was going to be my soul partner. I learnt a great lesson in life! Never ever lose yourself and your identity. People should love you for who you are and accept you for who you are, you should never change for someone.

I blamed so many people for where I am today and who I am today and why things happened in my life.. but really i have only one person to blame and that is me. I chose the destiny that i took, i choose my path that i want in live.... I have learnt a hell of lot in the last 2 years, i have learnt alot of lessons, people have come and gone from my life and have taught me something! I have learnt to grow up, to take care of myself and become a mother at a young age!! I have learnt to live a balanced life and be happy and have fun!

I was in self destruction mode after I had sebastyn, and I was not happy with myself at all. How can i find love or happiness if i am not inlove and happy with myself. How is someone suppose to accept and love me if i don't accept and love myself! I am writing this because before christmas i weighed 74 kilos and i weighed myself last week and i am now 80 kgs... that is only 4 kgs off my starting weight loss!!! yeah i know!! i only have myself to blame. I was lazy, eating shit, not exercising, but i was having fun going out, drinking spending time with people i have not spent time with in a long time!!! And it has only been in the last week especially from the help of a very special person and text messages every day that i realised I can do this.. I can have everything i want in life..... I can achieve my goals and dreams and live the life that i want to live.

I have so many positive people in my life from my friends to my family to my work! who make me see things in all difference ways!

The secret has been the hot topic in alot of people blogs lately. I first watched the movie when i started my job at the chiropractors. I am only bringing this up because at our staff meeting today we watched a chapter called "the secret to health." For those of you who have seen it you will know what i am talking about! Everytime i see this bit of the secret i always cry. Not because i am sad because i am happy and i know our thoughts and minds and bodies are so powerful. They call him the miricle man.. He was in a plane crash and was told he would be a vegetable and never be able to walk again. The only thing he has was his mind, and he said that he would walk of that hospital on christmas. And he did!! Just off the track a bit!! well not really!!

There is another movie called "What the Bleep do we know" There is a part in this movie where they talk about water particles. My point here is that our bodies are made up of 90% of water. Masaru Emoto did some research on water particles. and this is in the video. I have some photos below to show you! but he shows normal water particles what it looks like then he does a pray on the water, and then he also puts wording on the bottle of water that says" You make me sick i will kill you" and "Thank - you"!! it is amazing how the water particles look. The point i am getting at, is if this is what words can do to a bottle of water imagine what our thoughts are doing to our bodies???

Fujiwara Dam, before offering a prayer

Fujiwara Dam, after offering a prayer

You Make Me Sick, I Will Kill You

Thank you

I hope you get something out of this because i sure did!

I have now realised that i was looking at exercise as a chore and not something i love to do! And from that i have now set times aside that i go into the gym and work out! Because my body needs to be healthy and Fit! I love going to the gym and i love working out. i had my first PT session last friday and got absolutely pumped.... even though i felt sick during and after it, in the long run I know i will benefit from it and I feel good! I can achieve what ever i put my mind to!!

anyways i think i have written enough for one night! expect more posts like this as i have so much i need to get out of my head!

Good nite everyone and have lovely weeks and hope to catch some of you on the weekend :)

John Mayer

Hey everyone

I had written this huge big post and lost it all on monday !! so i just wanted to let you all know that i had an awesome time at John Mayer and that there will be some photos coming.

Hope everyone had an awesome easter and gots of choccy of the easter bunny

ness

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEBASTYN REGINALD ANDREA.

Here sebbie was just born... i can't believe how much he has changed and how grown up he has become over the last two years. Its very emotional for me actually!!!

Weekend

So i got through relay for life and had an awesome sleep last nite. Im still not feeling 100% but alot better than yesterday. I have a very sore back from coughing so much yesterday so i am definately up for an adjustment tomorrow!!! Lee (sis) and Taj decided to surprise me last nite and came over and stayed. not that i was very good company as i was not well but the boys had such fun!! when these two are together they just make each other laugh, cheeky, and copy each other.

Its sebs birthday on Tuesday so they came and gave him his presents :) He got a lightning maqueen fold out couch and a 3 set CD of zoo songs. which has all the old some like old mac donald, and baa baa black sheep and stuff.. so that was nice!!!

We also at the moment had a new addition to our household.... which i do hope goes away soon. A cat has decided for the last day to hang around!!! im not really a cat fan but all last nite it meowed at my window....

Here are some photos of the weekend

The Boys having a bath last nite.. taj loves tipping water over sebs head because seb thinks its funny

Taj giving seb a cuddle on his new lightening couch... Here they are playing on the swing set.. it looks like they are going really high in this pic but there notThis is my darling sister... She is my rock.. luv ya sis xx