my darling boy

this photo i love !! taken on the weekend!

BRENDA FEVOLA

Just letting everyone know that Brendan Fevola is coming to our practice on the 30th November to sign autographs and take pictures etc all welcome prizes and a signed jumper by all the players to win in a raffle!!!!! Money is going to a childrens charity. We just not sure which one yet!!! so if anyone has any ideas let me know

I need sleep

Wot a huge week i have had..

the cup was shitful i was very devastated, it rained it was cold and it rained and it was cold!!! i very put off!!! but a huge day, did lots of drinking, and lots of yaga bombs!!! never had them before and my god was i drunk drunk drunk...

I think it has all caught up with me, since i have worked this week plus the cup plus a seminar in Melbourne for work on this weekend, im bloody pooped!!! It was crazy in melbourne with the U2 concert and the g20 seminar!!!! never seen sooooo many people and sooo much traffic


Well our hot water service bursted so we were without water for three days!! That was lots of fun not!!!! I ended up getting up nice and early before work on friday and going to the gym for a work out and having a shower because i was so sick of boiling water on the stove!! :) Lucky it wasn't my week to have seb otherwise i wouldn't been going off my head!!

My sister and her lil boy are coming over next weekend which i can't wait for because its been ages since i seen them both then the following weekend its her 30th which i ammm sooooo looking forward to !!!!

heya Beckie i did that age thing and it was pretty spot on with me :) hehehe you find all these wonderful fun things to do!! I love it!!!

I can't believe this weather i so wish that it would make up its mind if it was to be hot, cold rain hail or shine!!!!!! Rain be good if your listening up there..

Its been a real struggle for me this week. I haven't seen seb much which is partly my fault because im trying to have as minimal contact with adam as possible but that is whole different post!! im missing him like crazy and can't wait to have him and snuggle and kiss him and kiss him some more this week and going swimming and do lots of fu stuff with him!!! i have missed him terribly... ( tears in my eyes) You would think that after a year that i would be use to it by now, but i don't think i will ever get use to it!! I think now that things are clearer in my head about adam etc it will get harder going week without seeing his beautiful face and hear him say bickie bickie and bike bike, and giggles (wiggles)....

I have possums at my house and there is a dog that lives next door and it is going crazy they must be out the back.. they walk along my fence to the next door neighbours house and play in the trees, just as i wrote that bang bang across my roof!!!

Well think its time for me to go slump my arse on the couch in front of the TV and get myself chilled for sleep.. i have not been sleeping much this week, keep waking up hundred times during the night which is pissing me off so hopefully i get some zzzz tonite.

Nite everyone

xxxx

Cup Morning

Wow what a morning it has been. Our pilot light went out on the hot water service last night so i had to boil water this morning to have a bath! :( i tell you not a good start to the day. besides the weather being freezing im still looking forward to the cup today! i went out last night and feeling very seedy this morning but all good have a few drinks and i will be right again

Here are some photos of me :)

Photos to share

So its been ages since i have put photos on here so i thought i would update you all from what i have been doing over the last couple of months.

This was seb sitting on me trying to make me be a horse but i had no energy. This photo was taken not long ago and since then i have had all my hair chopped off.. Short and spikey :)

These photos are of my night out with Beck at karoke!!! Had such a blast :)

Sebs crazy hair doo!! he looked so damn cute

My trip to the fairy park last weekend!! it was so much fun i will be taking seb there

So there you go!! hope you enjoyed

Stranger to this

Hello!! yes i am still alive, i feel like a stranger to this....

Its been ages i know!! very slack not enough hours in the day, and the fact that i have not set up my broadband!!!

I just opened my emails for the first time in two weeks 135 emails, and all junk mail!! yes thats right all junk mail.

Wow whats been happening. My job i am still inlove with just been working flat out there and that takes up 90% of my week!!! And then there is my beautiful lil treasure.. which i will have to undate some photos with of both of us..

On the weight loss, im getting there im down to 72 kilo now.... only another 7 to go until i reach goal..

I have been very slack with the gym and stuff though i had my first pt today in over 2 months and i tell you i cried my eyes out, i am so weak, and all my strength is gone and i was kicking myself for it!!!

I hope that everyone is doing well and i hope to catch up on your blogs over the weekend while seb is having his sleeps!!

I am off to the bendigo cup this wednesday so i will sure take some photos and put them on the site, and i might even get my broadband back up and running.

My new house with my brother is great not that we get to see much of each other, as hour working hours are completely opposite to each other.

I have been going out, i took bek out to karoke the other week and she one an eski with a radio in it, you deserved that Beks... besides that, i don't really have time for much else... i hope to get my life back into some routine soon...

well take care guys and talk soon

xxxx

Welcome from the New Pad

Heya Everyone

Well first i would like to welcome you all to my new place :) hehehe i will have to take some photos and put them on here. I am nearly settled in.. still have a few boxes to unpack, but besides that i am loving the new place.

I don't have broadband here yet but using dial up which is really slow and i am so not use to it.

I have been really good, enjoying myself and spending time with all my friends and fam.

I have been motivated this week as i have not been to the gym in ages and ages and so far have been every day this week. I think now that i have the new place and feel safe and have my bro here with me, i am starting a new chapter in my life. I really want to lose this extra weight that i have before xmas which means i have to knuckle down and put in the hard yards

I am going out to tea with Beck tonite, which i am looking forward to, as we have not had much one on one time together lately. Lil bradman will be with us which i am also looking forward to .

well gang just wanted to update and hopefully over the weekend i will catch up on everysone blogs

If we were meant to be

I had some stuff i needed to get off my chest so i wrote this poem

If we were meant to be my eyes would glitter with happiness
If we were meant to be my heart would be fulfilled
If we were meant to be i would feel love
If we were meant to be i would miss you when we are apart
If we were meant to be i would smile with joy
If we were meant to be i would melt with every touch
If we were meant to be i would be content
If we were meant to be i would know what true love is.

Please explain

I am a bit dumb founded at the moment. I had weigh in yesterday. After 3 days of drinking and partying and eating crap i managed to lose a kilo and a half and my body fat went down. I just don't understand how!!!! So i think i have to work extra hard this week to make sure i keep it off!!!

My weekend is going to be a cruiseee one!! i am going to Rindas house for a bbq tea tonite, as they haven't seen seb in ages, and rinda's lil brother Jem is a music buff and seb loves that.. Tomorrow im going over to see my nan and parsie who have been away travelling north for the past 3 months, so it will be good to see them and then off to Stay with Lee for the nite, and let the lil ones run wild :) I spoke to my sis on the phone last nite and her lil boy taj has been saying when sebbie come to stay, and he going to sleep with me :) So im really excited because i want them to be close cousins :) It was actually really funny because when i got on the phone he said wheres sebbie and i said hes asleep, and he said aunty nessie go and wake him up!!! I just thought that was so cute!!

well i better get going as its such a beautiful day out ther i thought i might walk back to work!!

See Ya

XMas List

Hey guys

I have started my dream xmas list at the side of my blog which when i think of something i need i am going to add too. Its not too far away so i thought i would get my ideas out there!!

Happy reading my family and friends

Its time to say Good-Bye

before i start this has some offensive langauge!!

So my head is a bit of a scramble at the moment, so much going on, but trying to keep positive about it all!

I have not had much sleep in the last 4 days, nor have i stopped drinking, and eating shit, which really hasn't helped my mood at all!!

Today i am at home with seb as he is not allowed at creche as he has been sick. Also over the weekend my relationship with adam came to a new stage. That its over!!! And even though its hard, i feel good about it!! Its the right decision... A few things happened over the weekend that made me realise that i don't have to put up with him anymore, his actions anything!

Friday nite i went out on the town with my friend Karen it was way heaps fun until i lost my brand new phone, but anyways i got home and i get this knock on the door about 4.30 in the morning, and it was adam, he came around because he thought i picked up and brought someone home, then on saturday night i went out with another friend of mine rinda, and just as we were pulling up in the taxi he was doing a drive by my house. so i rang him and asked what he was doing and he said seeing if i was home!! Like hello, stalker..... i was so mad at him!!! and then he tells me that i don't deserve seb as my son.. For fuck sake, it was my weekend off, i wasn't the one out driving while my son was at home in bed, and he tells me i don't deserve my son... (just let me make it clear that he lives with his sister who was home but thats not the point!!!) So that was kind of the last straw for me!!!

As much as i want my son to have his father and mother under the same roof it would all be for the wrong reasons!! Adam keeps saying what about seb, we need to do this for seb. But what about ourselves!! What about my feelings, my heart, my life???? Why should i be in a realtionship that makes me unhappy for the sake of my son??? I think the biggest thing that really sank in, was that i looked at like i love adam, but im not "in love" with adam and that makes all the difference to me!!!

it so emotionally draining and i know things will get better over time, i have a beautiful son, a loving family, fantastic group of friends, a fantastic job, and a new place, i just need to keep thinking of the positive and everything will be fine.

Well i might go and have a nap while seb is sleeping!!

Ciao

Ouch

My head hurts, im hung over, and dizzy but still managing to write this blog on this windy day!! so if it doesn't make sense that is why!!

Ouch because i lost my brand new F*%$ing phone last nite while out! :( i am guttered.... rang telstra the other day to renew my plan they said hey we will pay off your old phone and give you a new one for free. One of those Video phones i was like sweet!!! anyways got it and learnt how to use it and bang its gone!!! so now i have all these accessories and no flamin phone.... Anyways i might just go into telstra and get a phone on a plan :(

Ok well now ive had a sook i feel better!

have a good one everybody!!

The Lady In Red

Well i had an absolute blast in Ballarat on the weekend. I felt sexy and i loved my red dress!!! and i didn't break an ankle in my shoes!!! We left on saturday and where we stayed was beautiful. I drank beer all night!! and actually thought i would wake up worse for wear but i didn't.

Here are some photos of our night!!
this is me

this is me and my bro



So there is so pics... i had a ball dancing!!!!

On two good notes, i have just been on the phone with Telstra... to renew my plan and welll, i won lottery today!!! they are paying out my old phone $413 to go for free and i am getting a new c3 video phone for free!!! i am getting 2 months of music downloads for free and my 1st month for free which is $79.00!!! i also get 450 worth of free calls a month so im excited...

Allllssoooo today i got a phone call from the real estate agent and i have a new house to move into!! there has been so issues with this house, i am scared living here and i don't like my neighbours so me and my brother are going to move in together again, this time in a bigger house with more space for the 3 of us.. Im very excited!!!! Its a great opportunity for us both to save some money!!!! As i am heading overseas next year for 2 weeks!!

Well i better get my arse into gear and organise some things now!!

Talk to you all soon

Hello

I am such a slack arse lately!!! Ummm where do i start!!! Well lots has happened over the last week.. I went to Kyabram on the weekend to spend some time with my sister and we went to a ball that was awesome. Photos to come!!!! I got absolutely plastered and didn't get home until 5.30am in the morning!! Ohhh god i felt so old!!!!!! i don't know how people can do that every weekend!!!!!

I am very proud of myself! I ran on the treadmill at the gym last week for 20 minutes. First time i have ever done it!! i was so proud of myself!! I couldn't kept going but i didn't want to kill myself!!

Ummmmmm what else!! I caught up with Miss Beckie Boo on wednesday... Ohh what a blast of day we had today!!! I have another ball to go to this weekend in ballarat so we went shopping fo some shoes and had so much fun. thanks so much for your help.

so here are some photos and sneek peeks of what i will be wearing. The rest you will have to wait for!!! so as you can see the bottom of my dress and the shoes! stayed tuned

The Melbourne Zoo

What an awesome day! Adam and I took seb to the zoo for the first time. It was good to have a family day together :) Seb loved seeing all the animals especially the lions. They were going off tap. walking right past us roaring, it literally sent shivers down my spine, to have them so close....

I got a movie of the lions and once i figure out how to put it on i will upload it, unless anyone can tell me!!


This is seb with a baby baboon he was saying hello :)

Catch up

Well hello everybody!! What a busy time it has been for me! i have finally caught up with everyones blogs and how fantastic everyone is doing with weight losses.. Its fantastic.

I have had a dreaded sinus infection that has finally gone.. i felt like i had a migrane 24/7 in my forhead it was horrible!!!

Sydney was awesome, except that it rained the whole time i was up there, which sucked because back in good old Bendigo it was sunshine!!! I learnt lots more about being a chiropractic CA and becoming my confident in myself and in my work!!

Mmm what else, seb has just become so independent. as you will see from the photos, he likes to feed himself now!! Mmmmmm what a fun clean up job it is.

Cheeky lil bugger. I am getting him weighed and measured next wednesday its been ages since i have had it done, so it will be interesting to see!!! He is learning more words every day and it won't be long before he starts putting sentences together.

I got myself weighed today. Its been ages since i have updated you i have been oh so very slack. i weighed in at 74.2 and my body fat is at 41.1% !!!! i have lost 10.5kgs since i started.

Im feeling good within myself but i just want to reach goal and feel that extra good about myself. Beckie everytime you come into work you always complementing me, thanks so much, it makes you feel good....

I got a F&*%ing $290 gas bill in the mail the other day i was sooooo shattered.... os upset and so grrrrrrrr... when i don't have seb i am going to freeze as i don't need another one of those coming my way!!!!

I start extra shift this week at work which will be good money wise but will have to get my butt into gear and get organised.

Well its my day off today and i got all my washing done thank god, its such a beautiful day, i walked into town with seb which was good cause he had a sleep, and now he is having another sleep... I got a PT tonite :( arrggghh oh so not looking forward to it!!!

Well i might go and read a book and chill for a bit while lil is sleeping.

Take care everyone and ill try and post a lil more regular

Luv You

My god i didn't realise how long it has been since i posted last and so much has happened.

Right now i feel like someone has hit my over the forhead with a metal pole. I don't know what is going on with my head so this post won't be a long one as i really can't think straight at the moment

Firstly seb started saying love you last week. It sure brought a tear to my eye and just hearing those words come from his mouth makes my day.

I went to sydney on the weekend for work which was once again awesome! I love sydney.. i think i could live there.

I have been really naughty with my eating and excercising has been slack, but i have now set my personal goals each week with work which now is motivating me to move my arse into gear.

4 now that is it

Motivation

Ok so i got motivation. I was up at 5.30am this morning and went and did combat in at the gym, mowed my lawns and whipper snipped, had a massage, cleaned my house a lil and even had time to shave my legs. It was so good to have a day to myself to do what i wanted. Its been ages since i have done this. I feel really good.

I was suppose to go out for breakfast with my brother, but i came back home after combat and feel asleep and my phone rang about 9.30am and it was my brother asking where i was.. hehehe i had slept through the alarm.. i needed the sleep..


Well going to cook spag bowl for tea. Mmmm my favourite

Untitled

I don't know what to title this blog.... I just want to make it clear to people that read my blogs, that the reason i write my blog is so that i can get off my chest what i am feeling and to let the people who read my blog know whats happening in my life right now. You might not agree with what I do, and that the whole world can read about my life, but so be it, i choose to do it. Its also about getting support from other people who have been through the similar situations, its about supporting each other through hard times, through the weight loss through what ever. So if you want to go running back to people, about what i have written in my blog then so be it, because i really don't care and i don't have to justify myself, or what i write. If you have a problem with what i write then don't read it, also usually when i write about certain people in my blog i usually have spoken to them about it anyways. My feelings are my feelings and I choose to express them however i want. And this is the way i am choosing to express them.

Scattered Thoughts

I have just been reading becks blog, and how upset she is with herself about the way she looks etc. I have not known someone with the kindest heart, senerity and affection as she has, and to read about her being down on herself has touched me. The point i am getting at is that i posted a message to her. I have been reading a book by an inspirational man called Dr John Demartini. The book is called " How to make one Hell of a profit and still get to heaven". It is absolutely fav book and not only has it made me learn about money finance etc, it has also taught me about positive quotes, sayings etc and how the mind is so powerful. A quote i wrote to beck was " Whatever you think about, thank about, you bring about" This really gels with me, and hopefully it does to others, and hopefully people can see the meaning behind it. So i contridict myself when i said in my last blog that i felt like a fat hefalump in that photo. because if i think that i look like a fat hefalump then i am a fat hefalump. Does that make sense.

I have also learnt about stability and control, and self control, and how the universe won't let you expand if you can't control what you have at the moment, so for me, when i learn how to discipline myself with money and learn to save, then i will get more money, payrise etc. Please don't worry if none of this makes sense to you, and please know that i have not joined a cult or anything, i have just been doing alot of reading and watching dvd's with work and have learnt alot and how it applies in my life.

So for me to have stability and control in my life, i need order. I need order in my house, finance, emotions, physically, love life. So my first step was opening up a saving accounts that earns me interest to help me save.

I have laid down the ground rules with adam. I have said to him that i am sick of being in limbo land so you either want to be with me or you don't simple. I know where I want my life to head and I know what i need to fulfill it, so we both stop playing games and we sort out our problems and we be together or we part, and just be there for Sebastyn. I need happiness and love and support. He eithers gives it to me or he doesn't. and i move on.

I have a job that gives me stability and I love my job and i have so much room to grow and expand, and im determined to take my career as far as i can go now.

I am determined to get the lingerie business up and going with Beck, and make it happen and make it successful.

I want the best for my son and for myself, and to know that i am comfortable in my life.

I am determined to drop this last 10kgs that i have to go. for 5 weeks now i have been at plato. I have been lazy with eating, exercising, i need to get off my arse and do something about it! Be healthy, energetic, feel sexy, have self worth, confidence, not only for myself, but to be able to play with my son and my nephew. I want to be an active mother, Im young...

Wow my head feels lighter after spitting all this out!