It has really hit me today about me being a single working mum! I use to go off my head that adam didn't see his son enough and now the tables have turned!
Not only is seb a lil daddy's boy and everything is daddy and him wanting to spend time with daddy, but I feel lost. friday morning i started work at 7.45am. I was up at 6.30 had a shower and got ready for work. Woke seb up at 7.00 changed his bum packed the car and off to creche it was. Mmmmm i spent a whole 10 minutes with him. When i dropped him off at creche he screamed his head off, because he didn't want me to go! Im really missing the time that we had together and I feel because i work late nights and he is spending all his time with his dad that im losing the connection we had. Its hitting my heart and it hurts. Like today. Adam was around to help me with my student desk and he had to go home for a bit, and he picked seb up to give him a kiss good bye and i put my arms out to get seb off him, and he didn't want to come to me, he kept turning his back to me... over and over again... Adam said to me to stop being silly and not to take it to heart but how could i not, when my own son didn't want to be with me. Its just been a few lil things this week that have happened with seb that make me realise am i being to strict on him? should i loosen the string a bit?? But then there is the nasty side of me that is saying no, you don't want a spoilt child who gets away with everything. I think seb has realised who lets him do stuff and who doesn't. he may only be 14 months old but he knows. Children are smarter than we give them credit for!
Can someone make some sense of what im going through here? or am i worrying about nothing and if that is the case someone tell me to pull my head in!!
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