If we were meant to be

I had some stuff i needed to get off my chest so i wrote this poem

If we were meant to be my eyes would glitter with happiness
If we were meant to be my heart would be fulfilled
If we were meant to be i would feel love
If we were meant to be i would miss you when we are apart
If we were meant to be i would smile with joy
If we were meant to be i would melt with every touch
If we were meant to be i would be content
If we were meant to be i would know what true love is.

Please explain

I am a bit dumb founded at the moment. I had weigh in yesterday. After 3 days of drinking and partying and eating crap i managed to lose a kilo and a half and my body fat went down. I just don't understand how!!!! So i think i have to work extra hard this week to make sure i keep it off!!!

My weekend is going to be a cruiseee one!! i am going to Rindas house for a bbq tea tonite, as they haven't seen seb in ages, and rinda's lil brother Jem is a music buff and seb loves that.. Tomorrow im going over to see my nan and parsie who have been away travelling north for the past 3 months, so it will be good to see them and then off to Stay with Lee for the nite, and let the lil ones run wild :) I spoke to my sis on the phone last nite and her lil boy taj has been saying when sebbie come to stay, and he going to sleep with me :) So im really excited because i want them to be close cousins :) It was actually really funny because when i got on the phone he said wheres sebbie and i said hes asleep, and he said aunty nessie go and wake him up!!! I just thought that was so cute!!

well i better get going as its such a beautiful day out ther i thought i might walk back to work!!

See Ya

XMas List

Hey guys

I have started my dream xmas list at the side of my blog which when i think of something i need i am going to add too. Its not too far away so i thought i would get my ideas out there!!

Happy reading my family and friends

Its time to say Good-Bye

before i start this has some offensive langauge!!

So my head is a bit of a scramble at the moment, so much going on, but trying to keep positive about it all!

I have not had much sleep in the last 4 days, nor have i stopped drinking, and eating shit, which really hasn't helped my mood at all!!

Today i am at home with seb as he is not allowed at creche as he has been sick. Also over the weekend my relationship with adam came to a new stage. That its over!!! And even though its hard, i feel good about it!! Its the right decision... A few things happened over the weekend that made me realise that i don't have to put up with him anymore, his actions anything!

Friday nite i went out on the town with my friend Karen it was way heaps fun until i lost my brand new phone, but anyways i got home and i get this knock on the door about 4.30 in the morning, and it was adam, he came around because he thought i picked up and brought someone home, then on saturday night i went out with another friend of mine rinda, and just as we were pulling up in the taxi he was doing a drive by my house. so i rang him and asked what he was doing and he said seeing if i was home!! Like hello, stalker..... i was so mad at him!!! and then he tells me that i don't deserve seb as my son.. For fuck sake, it was my weekend off, i wasn't the one out driving while my son was at home in bed, and he tells me i don't deserve my son... (just let me make it clear that he lives with his sister who was home but thats not the point!!!) So that was kind of the last straw for me!!!

As much as i want my son to have his father and mother under the same roof it would all be for the wrong reasons!! Adam keeps saying what about seb, we need to do this for seb. But what about ourselves!! What about my feelings, my heart, my life???? Why should i be in a realtionship that makes me unhappy for the sake of my son??? I think the biggest thing that really sank in, was that i looked at like i love adam, but im not "in love" with adam and that makes all the difference to me!!!

it so emotionally draining and i know things will get better over time, i have a beautiful son, a loving family, fantastic group of friends, a fantastic job, and a new place, i just need to keep thinking of the positive and everything will be fine.

Well i might go and have a nap while seb is sleeping!!

Ciao

Ouch

My head hurts, im hung over, and dizzy but still managing to write this blog on this windy day!! so if it doesn't make sense that is why!!

Ouch because i lost my brand new F*%$ing phone last nite while out! :( i am guttered.... rang telstra the other day to renew my plan they said hey we will pay off your old phone and give you a new one for free. One of those Video phones i was like sweet!!! anyways got it and learnt how to use it and bang its gone!!! so now i have all these accessories and no flamin phone.... Anyways i might just go into telstra and get a phone on a plan :(

Ok well now ive had a sook i feel better!

have a good one everybody!!

The Lady In Red

Well i had an absolute blast in Ballarat on the weekend. I felt sexy and i loved my red dress!!! and i didn't break an ankle in my shoes!!! We left on saturday and where we stayed was beautiful. I drank beer all night!! and actually thought i would wake up worse for wear but i didn't.

Here are some photos of our night!!
this is me

this is me and my bro



So there is so pics... i had a ball dancing!!!!

On two good notes, i have just been on the phone with Telstra... to renew my plan and welll, i won lottery today!!! they are paying out my old phone $413 to go for free and i am getting a new c3 video phone for free!!! i am getting 2 months of music downloads for free and my 1st month for free which is $79.00!!! i also get 450 worth of free calls a month so im excited...

Allllssoooo today i got a phone call from the real estate agent and i have a new house to move into!! there has been so issues with this house, i am scared living here and i don't like my neighbours so me and my brother are going to move in together again, this time in a bigger house with more space for the 3 of us.. Im very excited!!!! Its a great opportunity for us both to save some money!!!! As i am heading overseas next year for 2 weeks!!

Well i better get my arse into gear and organise some things now!!

Talk to you all soon