Scattered Thoughts

I have just been reading becks blog, and how upset she is with herself about the way she looks etc. I have not known someone with the kindest heart, senerity and affection as she has, and to read about her being down on herself has touched me. The point i am getting at is that i posted a message to her. I have been reading a book by an inspirational man called Dr John Demartini. The book is called " How to make one Hell of a profit and still get to heaven". It is absolutely fav book and not only has it made me learn about money finance etc, it has also taught me about positive quotes, sayings etc and how the mind is so powerful. A quote i wrote to beck was " Whatever you think about, thank about, you bring about" This really gels with me, and hopefully it does to others, and hopefully people can see the meaning behind it. So i contridict myself when i said in my last blog that i felt like a fat hefalump in that photo. because if i think that i look like a fat hefalump then i am a fat hefalump. Does that make sense.

I have also learnt about stability and control, and self control, and how the universe won't let you expand if you can't control what you have at the moment, so for me, when i learn how to discipline myself with money and learn to save, then i will get more money, payrise etc. Please don't worry if none of this makes sense to you, and please know that i have not joined a cult or anything, i have just been doing alot of reading and watching dvd's with work and have learnt alot and how it applies in my life.

So for me to have stability and control in my life, i need order. I need order in my house, finance, emotions, physically, love life. So my first step was opening up a saving accounts that earns me interest to help me save.

I have laid down the ground rules with adam. I have said to him that i am sick of being in limbo land so you either want to be with me or you don't simple. I know where I want my life to head and I know what i need to fulfill it, so we both stop playing games and we sort out our problems and we be together or we part, and just be there for Sebastyn. I need happiness and love and support. He eithers gives it to me or he doesn't. and i move on.

I have a job that gives me stability and I love my job and i have so much room to grow and expand, and im determined to take my career as far as i can go now.

I am determined to get the lingerie business up and going with Beck, and make it happen and make it successful.

I want the best for my son and for myself, and to know that i am comfortable in my life.

I am determined to drop this last 10kgs that i have to go. for 5 weeks now i have been at plato. I have been lazy with eating, exercising, i need to get off my arse and do something about it! Be healthy, energetic, feel sexy, have self worth, confidence, not only for myself, but to be able to play with my son and my nephew. I want to be an active mother, Im young...

Wow my head feels lighter after spitting all this out!