Eleanor Roosevelt:

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tired Ness

My body clock is all F&*^ed up at dot com at the moment!! Why?? Maybe because i have to much on my plate? Being back at school and working and having sebastyn isnt as easy as 123.. I thought it would be!! Well its proven me wrong!

I am physically and emotionally tired and it really hit me on sunday playing tennis with the girls!! i was exhausted that is why there is photos of me on the side lines!! It wasn't because i was getting my arse kicked LOL!!! by the way it was tops!!

So as i sit here writing this post at quarter to eleven on tuesday nite, im not tired and wondering why i am not fast asleep after school both mornings working yesterday after noon and playing netball tonite!! and entertaining seb this afternoon.. which isn't hard.... wiggles dvd was on and it was mum on the dance floor in the loungeroom acting like a monkey.. Yes it probably would of been a funny site... and ails i have not even had a sip of coke zero today!

It really hit me today i woke up in a head spin and all day i felt really light headed and like i was going to faint! it was not good!! had my massage this afternoon aidan asking have i drank enough water today "YES dad" had my adjustment my neck was out a little!! maybe that is why, but im putting it down to brain overload or should i say fried!!!

I have excercised pretty hard the past 4 days.... 3 games of tennis, two nites of walking, and a game of netball!! but i don't see that having anything to do with it really.. My feet are hurting from it!! i have Blisters! Yeah sore, i now know what tennis pros feel like when i see them gettting all taped up from blisters!!

This week weigh in is measurements and photos! im looking forward to comparing my results! I am feeling happy with how things are going with my body but getting inpatient that my tyre hasn't gone yet! I know it will happen but i have an obsession with it! Don't i Ails?????

Im doing relay for life this year im looking forward to it, im sleeping over this year! i can't wait.. also I think ails and I are doing run for the kids (but walking) i have to confirm that with her but im looking forward to that too if we do it!!! don't know how i will go with the distance but at the end of the day if i cross that finish line ill be proud!

Well i think that is enough rambling for now! ill be back shortly with a weigh in result!! which i don't think will be anything to get excited about this week as im feeling really bloated!!! Don't know why

Before i go i want to leave you with this. My sister sent it through to me and i really liked it


WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?

Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do You stop worrying?" The nurse said,” When they get out of the accident stage." My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My dad just smiled faintly And said nothing.


By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle.... There was nothing I could do about it. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are You depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.


PASS IT ON TO OTHER WONDERFUL PARENTS(And also to your children. That's the fun part)

2 comments:

Miss Beck said...

Nessa,

I still remember standing in your office at work talking about Coke Zero and you told me "NO! It's full of caffeine!"

You know all this, could it be a little contributing factor for your awakeness? It kept me hooked and awake for ages when I first moved into this house.

Great thoughts on parenthood.

P.S. I emailed a stack of out of town friends and family re: outside orders and going on your mailing list.

AlleyCat said...

Heya Ness! Was awesome to meet you on Sunday! My right forearm was quite sore Monday so I know i really gave it a work out! When I get my new camera, I will re-enact my plumbing girl attire for you & post it! hehehe. Hope you are feeling better soon - I know when my neck is out I feel really out of sorts - off to the chiro this arvo actually :-) Have you eaten enough fuel for all the exercise you have done? I know it sounds odd, but sometimes you need to eat a bit more - I go for a hard or soft boiled egg or a couple of rice cakes with either vegemite or almond/nut spread. Good luck with the weigh in & hope the rest of the week improves!