Weekend

Wow what a weekend i have had!!

Where do i start??????? Mmmm maybe with Friday!!

Friday

Friday nite was awesome! I got to baby sit the wonderful behaved Bradman. Which was lots of fun but i was very tired. Ails came over for some catch up and some drinks, and filled me in on her precious baby (the cat)!!! Becks was here for a while before she hit the town to boggy!! For a well deserved nite out.

Sooo everything was going fine and lil bradman decided to wake up at 4am..... Sebbie heard his lil cry and came into my bed with me and bradman and was asking bradman if he was ok?? it was very cute!!! so the boys layed in bed and i tried to get some Zzzzz's but was a little scared to shut my eyes just incase the boys got up and ran a muck around the house!!! Lil Sebbie went back to sleep and bradman layed there will his eyes opened not making a boo!! So i thought ok i will see if he will go to sleep in sebs bed!! so off we went and he finally went to sleep.. only 5 minutes and he was awake again!! i finally got him back to sleep and then 5 mintes later he was awake again!! by this time it was about 6am, and both boys decided it was time to be wide awake............

Saturday

6am start. two boys in the mood for some early rising and some early fun!! straight to sebastyn rooms to pull out all the toys and see what they could play with!!! both giggling and next minute!! this one for you beck *i see a fire truck a big red shiny fire truck* started playing. Bradmans favourite toy!! its a ride on car.. that has music buttons that you press!!! Ohhhhh my poor tired eyes where not in the mood for it!! but i just let it go!!!! They were having a good time and thats all that matters!!

Sooooo for breakfast!! Mmmmmm coco pops :) hehehe what a treat :) bradman loved using his hands and putting the cocopops everywhere and watching seb how to use a spoon.. it was sooo much fun :) Becks turned up about 8.30am that morning after an awesome nite out. I so glad that you got the opportunity to go out and boggy for the nite girl... any time you want to do that just let me know :)

So the rest of the day was sleeping and attending to sebastyn and catching up on so doing nothing time..... Its good with seb out on lightening macqueen on finding nemo and i can have a shower and the hang the washing out and know that his eyes won't move from that tv..

Got some DVDs out with adam and we watched the pursuit to happyness and another one but i fell alseep in that movie :)

Sunday

Wow what an emotional day this was... CJ and I ventured to Kyabram for my sister Red Kite day and to see 19 people shave their heads. Two of the locals where younger people who had both losted sisters to cancer so they were getting their head shaved also in memory!!

It was a very emotional day!!!! Please find some photos below

So my sister got her head shaved for a good cause and has since told me she is very cold :)

ohh and one final thing ended up with seb in hospital with croup and a middle ear infection.. he is heaps better now...

Well thats the fill in from last weekend....

Two Weeks Gone

Heya everyone

I can't believe its been two weeks since my last post. How lazy am I. Its been a very very full on couple of weeks with my emotions been battered and bruised in lots of ways possible.

My sister and Her husband have decided to seperate after 4 years of marriage and a 3 year old son. as you all know i am very close to them so it has hit me like a tonne of bricks! Im here to support them all and that will never change. It made me re think my life and where im headed and what i want for my son and my life, and for Adam! Why is it that something like this always makes you think of your own relationships! Im not saying that tomorrow adam and I will be back together because that is far far from my mind, but it has opened my eyes to the way that i want to treat him and how i want to be treated and how I want Seb to know that his mum and dad love him very much no matter what happens and that we are both here from him! Family is so important to me and i want that normaility for sebastyn. Adam and I have been spending lots of time together with seb and with each other and it has been nice because, i am getting to know adam again on the friends level! Which we didn't really do when we first got together. I think our relationship has changed for the good!

Work has been crazy crazy crazy which is good. I was in sydney on the weekend for a seminar which was nice! I like sydney, its very different atmosphere to Melbourne and i found the air to be alot nicer and fresher than Melbs. sorry to all you melbs people :)

Im going to kyabram on the weekend as my sister is getting her hair shaved for red kite day. To raise money for families with children who have cancer! I am planning to get lots of before and after photos.

I have been hanging out with some new people here in Bendigo which has been great! Im getting out there and meeting people! which i should have done a bloody long time ago!

I am missing my friends though and you know who you are and I can't wait to catch up with you all soon.

Have a great week and weekend and I am so not waiting another couple of weeks to update you!

Take Care everyone and know that i am thinking of everyone.

PS Becks and Bradman it was so good to see you both on Monday! Beck your looking beautiful as ever and i must admit your looking healthy and relaxed :) Bradman is growing up so much and to hear him talking was great!! He is growing every day babes :) See you soon
xxx

Question - Update & a bit of that

ok the last couple of weeks














Spot Seb!!! hehehe was his birthday and i brought him a black board! he loves it. The following weekend adam and I took him to see Thomas and Friends, he loved going on all the different trains. It was a hot day and because it was so dry it was very dusty!! But it was a good to be able to show Seb that we can still do family things together :)


















I had the pleasure of looking after bradman a couple of weekends ago now for a few hours while Beck was at the hospital with Matty :) He is just a doll of a child and he had soooo much fun playing with all of sebs toys and exploring and having a good old laugh with my brother. I am glad to hear that Matt is recovering well. I am thinking of you Becks and missing you. Hope to see that beautiful smile of yours soon. The picture over is the house that we stayed in in Torque it is my sisters bosses house. It was awesome!!! it was such a nice weekend to spend with the family even though the weather was not the greatest for us until we decided to come home! We took the boys to the beach and seb was very scared... My dad got some funny photos so i will have to get them off him to load on here!!
















This was picture from upstairs!!!! further around to your right you could see the beach.....



It was so nice to have the family time together even though the boys were very cheeky and full on!!!!!! Seb hates being apart from Taj so night time was very aweful as seb would cry and cry and throw himself until he finally went to sleep.



What else is news!! its my last day of holidays tomorrow and then back to work!!! Its been nice to be able to spend a few days to myself, and i have enjoyed just being able to get up when i please and not have to worry about going to work and having seb ready by certain hour for creche!!!



Its pouring down rain here at the moment which is beautiful its funny how you miss what you don't have and then when you get it you wish it was a nice day :) does that make sense??



I am in the middle of budget planning at the moment as i want to buy a block of land but need more money that i thought to put the deposit on!! so give it another 12 months and i will own something of my own which i am very excited about !! then eventually maybe i will build my dream home :)



I have not step foot in the gym this week which i am both happy and sad about as it was the perfect opportunity for me to work my arse off for a week but on the other hand i have been on holidays so i just wanted to chill!!!



Well i think thats all for the moment!!!! Hope everyone else is doing well and i shall be catching up on your blogs over the next couple of day!!! I have beennnnn so slack




Ohhh and one last thing!!! i married my dream man :) Vin Diesel :) Mmmmmmmmm

Im Alive

Heya all

Sorry for the lack of post and comments lately, life has been very hectic at the moment. I have until Friday off work so i will endevour to update with some photos and stories over the last couple of weeks!

I have been in Torquay for the last 4 days and got home today, so now catchuing up on the house work and hundred loads of washing that comes from being away!

Well hope everyone is well!

Ness

Thoughts!

I could write about how i had a great weekend and that adam and i took seb to see Thomas and Friends in Maldon on the weekend (will have to post the pictures at a later date) but today i am really going to talk about my thoughts.

It is something I haven't done in a while and thought it was time to do!!!

I am 25 year old single mum with a 2 year old son with my whole life ahead of me and the whole world around me with so many opportunities that are out there for me, but for so long something has been holding me back.

I was in a relationship with a false me, a fake identity if you would like to say that, i was NOT being true to myself! I have my job, my friends and my family to thank for helping me find my way again. But really i should be thanking myself! I don't thank myself enough! Thanks Vanessa from bringing out the True you! I lost who i was for a very long time, i lost my friends my family and my happiness for someone I loved and who i thought was going to be my soul partner. I learnt a great lesson in life! Never ever lose yourself and your identity. People should love you for who you are and accept you for who you are, you should never change for someone.

I blamed so many people for where I am today and who I am today and why things happened in my life.. but really i have only one person to blame and that is me. I chose the destiny that i took, i choose my path that i want in live.... I have learnt a hell of lot in the last 2 years, i have learnt alot of lessons, people have come and gone from my life and have taught me something! I have learnt to grow up, to take care of myself and become a mother at a young age!! I have learnt to live a balanced life and be happy and have fun!

I was in self destruction mode after I had sebastyn, and I was not happy with myself at all. How can i find love or happiness if i am not inlove and happy with myself. How is someone suppose to accept and love me if i don't accept and love myself! I am writing this because before christmas i weighed 74 kilos and i weighed myself last week and i am now 80 kgs... that is only 4 kgs off my starting weight loss!!! yeah i know!! i only have myself to blame. I was lazy, eating shit, not exercising, but i was having fun going out, drinking spending time with people i have not spent time with in a long time!!! And it has only been in the last week especially from the help of a very special person and text messages every day that i realised I can do this.. I can have everything i want in life..... I can achieve my goals and dreams and live the life that i want to live.

I have so many positive people in my life from my friends to my family to my work! who make me see things in all difference ways!

The secret has been the hot topic in alot of people blogs lately. I first watched the movie when i started my job at the chiropractors. I am only bringing this up because at our staff meeting today we watched a chapter called "the secret to health." For those of you who have seen it you will know what i am talking about! Everytime i see this bit of the secret i always cry. Not because i am sad because i am happy and i know our thoughts and minds and bodies are so powerful. They call him the miricle man.. He was in a plane crash and was told he would be a vegetable and never be able to walk again. The only thing he has was his mind, and he said that he would walk of that hospital on christmas. And he did!! Just off the track a bit!! well not really!!

There is another movie called "What the Bleep do we know" There is a part in this movie where they talk about water particles. My point here is that our bodies are made up of 90% of water. Masaru Emoto did some research on water particles. and this is in the video. I have some photos below to show you! but he shows normal water particles what it looks like then he does a pray on the water, and then he also puts wording on the bottle of water that says" You make me sick i will kill you" and "Thank - you"!! it is amazing how the water particles look. The point i am getting at, is if this is what words can do to a bottle of water imagine what our thoughts are doing to our bodies???

Fujiwara Dam, before offering a prayer

Fujiwara Dam, after offering a prayer

You Make Me Sick, I Will Kill You

Thank you

I hope you get something out of this because i sure did!

I have now realised that i was looking at exercise as a chore and not something i love to do! And from that i have now set times aside that i go into the gym and work out! Because my body needs to be healthy and Fit! I love going to the gym and i love working out. i had my first PT session last friday and got absolutely pumped.... even though i felt sick during and after it, in the long run I know i will benefit from it and I feel good! I can achieve what ever i put my mind to!!

anyways i think i have written enough for one night! expect more posts like this as i have so much i need to get out of my head!

Good nite everyone and have lovely weeks and hope to catch some of you on the weekend :)

John Mayer

Hey everyone

I had written this huge big post and lost it all on monday !! so i just wanted to let you all know that i had an awesome time at John Mayer and that there will be some photos coming.

Hope everyone had an awesome easter and gots of choccy of the easter bunny

ness

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEBASTYN REGINALD ANDREA.

Here sebbie was just born... i can't believe how much he has changed and how grown up he has become over the last two years. Its very emotional for me actually!!!

Weekend

So i got through relay for life and had an awesome sleep last nite. Im still not feeling 100% but alot better than yesterday. I have a very sore back from coughing so much yesterday so i am definately up for an adjustment tomorrow!!! Lee (sis) and Taj decided to surprise me last nite and came over and stayed. not that i was very good company as i was not well but the boys had such fun!! when these two are together they just make each other laugh, cheeky, and copy each other.

Its sebs birthday on Tuesday so they came and gave him his presents :) He got a lightning maqueen fold out couch and a 3 set CD of zoo songs. which has all the old some like old mac donald, and baa baa black sheep and stuff.. so that was nice!!!

We also at the moment had a new addition to our household.... which i do hope goes away soon. A cat has decided for the last day to hang around!!! im not really a cat fan but all last nite it meowed at my window....

Here are some photos of the weekend

The Boys having a bath last nite.. taj loves tipping water over sebs head because seb thinks its funny

Taj giving seb a cuddle on his new lightening couch... Here they are playing on the swing set.. it looks like they are going really high in this pic but there notThis is my darling sister... She is my rock.. luv ya sis xx

Relay for Life - Update

Okkk so i made it.. i didn't do the whole 2 hours though, as being sick didn't help. I even ran a lap and a half thanks to sim :) but felt sick after it!!! had a nice pile of green snot at the fence :) hehehehehe... get that image in your heads :)

Good luck to everyone doing the fun run for kids this weekend :) enjoy yourselfs,

Just going out to buy seb birthday present. He is going to be two on tuesday :) My lil baby boy is growing up so fast....

I was always the person that was going to have a bus load of children. I love children.... After having sebastyn and everything that has happened with sperm donar, i couldn't see myself having that bus load anymore! Seb is im treasure and everything to me, trying to share my love would be sooo hard......

On that note i went to becks on wednesday for a catch up and so that boys could have a play and hurt themselves, which they did.... and it was so funny we were talking about Men and becks said to me "your so hot ness why don't you have a man in your life?" I said to her im not ready!!! I think alot of other factors come into it... having a son, i don't want to be bringing hundred of people into his life, i would just like to meet Mr Right and that be it!! it may never happen, but i think i could be happy being single for the rest of my life!! A few booty calls here and there and i think i could be one happy women :)

Relay For Life

SOoo here i have been thinking all week that i am walking tonite from 8pm - 10pm when really its 8am - 10am.. which doesn't bother me either way, i just thought awesome seb will be in the pram, its his bed time he will sleep the whole way.. hehehe !!! So i went out today and brought myself a beanie, as last weekend has caught up on me and i have a very blocked/sniffling nose and didn't want my cold to get worse tonite for the walk. But now that i am walking in the morning, least i get another nite sleep to actually try and get over this cold!!!! As long as i am better for next weekend as i have the John Mayer concert.. which i am looking forward to!!

I weighed myself at Becks on wednesday on her cool scales.... I was very devasted at seeing my weight!! Sooooo now i really do have to get myself motivated and get out of this F&*%$ing rut that i am in..... All my motivation has gone out the window.... I am not motivated or inspired to get off my arse and combat this challenge of getting rid of my fat/babyfat etc etc..... How do i go about doing that!! Mmmmmmm i have no idea.. Maybe i need a challenge or something i don't know!!!

Any suggestions anyone??

Well better go and start on my washing, as i have not really done any this week with this weather that we have been having.

Any feedback would be appreciated!! :)
xxxx

Weekend Part Two - Memory Lane

Saturday morning my brother Krys and I decided to go back to our old home town Kerang. He had not been back since we moved to Bendigo and it had been a few years for me also. So this was our journey.

First stop was Durham Ox. We decided to go via Boort back to our First Home Lake Meran.

This is lake Meran... Without the water. It was actually vey sad to see as every summer and most weekends we would go here to ski and play. We would ride our bikes after school and get dad to come pick us up once he had finished work. This is where we learnt to swim. Most of our lives we grew up around water, going back here reminded me how much i really do miss the country and how much i hate having neighbours, and not being about to just ride/drive down the road for a dip...

This is the Jumping tower, minus a few pieces of equipment. There use to be a huge metal tower on top of this that we use to jump off. It actually looked really small and CJ and I were both like "we use to jump off this?" CJ is holding a sign that says Shallow Water... heheh what water??? This tree was CJ favourite Tree. He use to hide in the hole in the tree. Hehehe it was so funny because the hole is so small now.... The play ground... it was still the same.... i hated that wizzy dizzy thing... it made me sick so i never went on it!!!

This was our HOUSE at lake meran...... it was really sad to see it, as the paddocks now have sheds in it, which is where we would drive the car and motor bike around. We had a channel that ran through t he paddock and both CJ and I had a look to see if the plank of wood was still there that went from one side to the other that we would cross to get to the damn and also that would jump off to go swimming.. It had gone. Its funny because i keep saying that i don't remember alot about my child hood but going back there really opened up our minds and we were saying :oh remember the tree that you got stuck up and remember the tree that you fell out of, and dad, your vegetable garden.. hehehee i will never forget that. Dad loved his veggie garden it was his pride and joy until one day he came home and the cows and gotten into it.. heheheThis was really awesome to see our first primary school Dingwall!!! There was about 10 children that went to this school it was awesome. The toilets where outside under some trees where the magpies lived. CJ said to me remember when we use to put buckets and pans on our heads to go to the toilets so that magpies wouldn't get us.. hehehehe..... This was our play wall at the back of the school. I remember on our last day at school we all got plates and cups and smashed them on the wall to say goodbye..... We even had a pet cow at our school....

This is my highschool well the sign anyways. CJ and I went to different highschools so i gave him a tour. It was funny i remember where all the rooms where.... where we use to hang out at school and hide from the teachers to have a fag.. heheheh those where the days. Everything has changed alot... but the atmosphere was still the same..We then headed to our Primary School St. Joesphs.... WOW this school has had one huge make over since we been there. I remember that we did pavers and wrote our names on them. but i couldn't remember if we did one or not, so for about 20 minutes CJ and I were walking around looking at the names laughing and remembering people and then he came across ours...... 1993 was a long time ago..... trying to remember if i still had the bowl haircut then :) This is St Joe's from the front.. it didn't look like this back in my day :) And to get from the school to our hall you use to have to go outside.. well now it is all covered in!!!!

Westblade Ave: Has this house had a make over or what!! A huge one.... The garden was different, there was a pergola out the back, and the garden at the front has changed.. There use to be a tree in the front yard.. which has now gone.. We had a little look out the back as the lady who lived at this house drove off just as we pulled up, and CJ could see the tree that he planted was still there.. :) There was some fond memories at this house i remember... Hehehehe i won't say to much dad :) hehehe Next was off to the egg park, as we called it.. This is the egg below. I never went in this either as it made me sick.. we played here on the equipment for a bit.. was heaps of fun....... The water tower which is at the egg park also... It doesn't look as big as it did when we were little... The it was down the main street. This is the clock tower....

We went into safeway to buy some goodies but also to see if we could see anyone we knew... both our hearts where racing, but to our disappointment we didn't know one person who was walking around or even working there :) Then it was back on the road to Bendigo.

Thanks for coming CJ it felt really good to go back to our old homes and see them and to know that those fond memories are still there, and to see the changes that have occured whilst we have been gone.

For another 10 years Kerang. Its good bye!!!

Cool!!!

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Weekend Part 1 - The Party

Ok!! thanks girls for an awesome weekend, i had such a blast. It was great to finally meet Linda and Ails and Brooke as i have heard and read soooo much about you all!! :)

Im not really going to say much as im sure ails and everyone else will have there stories to tell but all i want to say is that Im glad that I got to make Ails and Linda NON Virgins of Yaga Bombs.... ( my favourite drinks ) How yummy are those drinks girls :)

Tea was yum, the dancing was fun both nites and i finally went to Goldies.. what an awesome place to listen to old and new music!!! I had sooo much fun there that nite...... and to see how many mullets we could spot that was a great game!!

Well cant wait to do it all again and to Phil and Bec it was great to see you both again!! Phil you sound so excited about your trip and hope you have a blast if i dont see you before then, and Becks my godddd your looking hot and you can really notice the changes babe.

Ok Part 2 to my weekend coming up when i have another spare 10 minutes

Thanks again girls!

Going Insane

Ok so im having a blonde moment... im sitting outside drinking some diet coke thinking i have floates in my drink trying to get them out and then i realised its the bloody bubbles how stupid can one be...

So i have a confession to make also i went to days without a smoke... and broke the drought!!! i really want to quit but im not putting my mind to it! i thought i might try the patches, as i don't know how i will go cold turkey!!!

I have been at a work meeting most of today and got seb back about an hour ago.. He is passed out on my couch after not having a sleep today, so hopefully he will sleep tonite, i hope he sleeps tonite. at 5.30 this morning i hear "mummy mummy mummy" and i went in and he was awake saying "other bed other bed" as in my bed.... so into my bed he gets, but he is a really touchy lil man and im not a really touchy person, so when he hops into bed with me he always has to be touching me, so i never really get anysleep... i snuggle with him thinking that he is asleep and then move away and he moves closer.... lil bugger he is!!!!!

Last nite was really awesome my brother and I had a couple of drinks and played cards.... it was so much fun.. then it was getting a lil cold outside so i said ohh lets go watch eurotrip you will love it!!! it is a funny movie if you have not seen it watch it!!!

well i hope everyone is having a good weekend and saving themselves for a big one nextweek with the sleep over. I am really looking forward to it as i have not met many of you so i can't wait.... it will be such a fun nite.....

Take care all and hope to see you next weekend

1.41AM ....... What The?

1.41AM and i am up. Just been in with a sooking lil man!! he is restless tonite, and me well im just not sleeping. Why Ummmmmm not sure... Its nearly been 32 hours without a smoke and i tell you i really needed one after work tonite. You know when you just have one of those days and you need something to destress well i bloody needed a smoke. I picked up seb from sperm donar and he just irritates me to the maximum, i f&^%ing hate seeing him everyday when i have seb, how are you suppose to move on with your life when your seeing your ex everyday?? and i needed a smoke.. so instead i walked in the front door blerted to my brother and that was that, and had a can instead :) hehehe!!! Just one!!!! which i drank over an hour and a half :)

And now im awake for what ever reason not feeling tired and having to get up and getting ready to go to work this morning at 6.30am thank god i have this afternoon off :) I am looking forward to that.. Im going to go into the gym and have a work out and then pick my lil man up from creche and if the weather is nice, we might go for a walk arond the lake, and he can go on his bike :) that should keep him entertained for a bit!!

Well i might put my ipod in my ears and listen to some music and see if that helps. If not im in the middle of Schapelle Corby's book so might read a few pages of that.

Nite all. actually i should say morning hehehe!!!

The Start of A Healthier Life Style - DAY 1

I was talking to bec last week about quitting soft drink as i am a huge fan of it and really need to cut down, but i also started up smoking again when adam and I broke up, after not smoking for 2 years.... So anyways today is DAY 1 of not having a cigga.... I had my last one about 6pm last nite, and i usually have one after i eat tea, but i couldn't last nite. I was a little bit edgy about it but quickly got over it. Last time i quit i quit cold turkey which is what i am doing again. This time may be a little bit harder as most of my friends smoke where as adam didn't smoke and that made it easier.

I am feeling good about it and really looking forward to getting my fitness back and being able to do things without getting puffed. This is one step forward to a healthier me...... Will be interesting to see how my moods are :) hehehee

One step at a time.....

I feel sorry for myself

Im feeling very sorry for myself at this point in them. its nearyl ten after about 6 hours sleep and mixing drinks, im not feeling to healthy!!! i think im going to have a day of lazing on the couch and having a bath and doing jack shit!! i had a pretty awesome nite last nite, went out with some friends then went to my friends brooke house who had been up 30 hours straight so wasn't really up for going out!! so we had some drinks at her house and then i convinced her to come out with me for an hour after two drinks i wasn't really in the mood and she looked buggered so we went home!! But im feeling the effects this morning of having beer , udl beer udl... and i am suppose to do this all again tonite!! Will be interesting..

Ummmm things aren't too good on the home front at the moment. My bro is having some problems with his girlfriend who is suppose to be moving in here, so because they not talking he is being all dark and shit on me which i don't really like, but at this point in time i have not had a chance to talk to him and tell him to fucking stop his shit with me!! I hate when he is like this with me, because he my lil bro and i love him heaps and i hate that he can't talk to me... He will when he is ready but i wanted him to talk to me about it last nite and he told me to go away :(

Anyways just finishing my milo that is slowly going down. Think i might go and lay back on the couch and be a bludge. ohh i have to go out at some stage, i brought this cute top yesterday at target buttt ummmm its one of those puffy ones, and i need a belt for it because without a belt it makes me look 9 months pregnant!!!! i will try and get a photo of me in it tonite and post it!!

Have a gooooddd long weekend everyone!!! take care on the roads as already this morning about 3 abos and fire truck have gone past my house.

xxxx

A Bit of everything

Here are some pics for starters

here is the beautiful Becks on her night out! YOU always take hot pics babe!!

here is my brother and sebastyn having a dance on friday nite. seb is a lil groover he is so funny. we were teaching him the bum dance.. it was soooo cute...

here is seb, cj and alli

So there you go a few pics for you to browse at... on another note i went to the gym this morning and talking to my darling friend Sheree, who is getting married in November!! its so exciting!! i promised myself i won't cry but will just have to wait and see :) which reminds me i need to find a date :) LOL im taking seb to the wedding, so i suppose he can be my date for that :)

anyways we catching up the weekend which will be nice i love our lil get togethers and our chats that we have :) we have such a funny relationship because we can go a week without talking to each other but we both know that if we need each other we are there, we don't have to live out of each others pockets which is good!!! Anyways i weighed myself while i was there, and i was disgusted with myself.. i weighed in at 79.7 and 45% body fat.. which means since i had my last weigh in at slim i was 74 kgs which means i have put 5 kgs... 5 fucking kilos.... i can't believe that i have let myself go after all the hard work that i put in!!! so i need some dicipline!!! it times like these i wish i was a super star so i had someone at my beck and call to motivate me and to push me.. i suppose i still have PTs at the gym but i need to be able to fit them into my work life and child life, and there are only 2 ppl at the gym that i would get to pt me so i would need to fit into them too!! Im pretty down about it because im mad at myself for not putting in the effort that i should be, for not eating correctly for drinking too much shit and eating so much shit!! for eating chocolate none stop!!! i don't want to get back to my orginal weight!!! i think if i did i would crawl into a hole and never come out of it!!

I had my exams at the chiro on thursday where they test you to see how your body is functioning and well im doing crap!!! i have not been helping myself outside my adjustments so my body is not functioning as well as it should be!! so i have been put back on intense which requires me to have 3 adjustments a week then 2 and then down to 1 and hopfeully by doing my exercises and stretches outside of work i will be functioning better. it might explain why i have been feeling like shit and tired and my bowels not functioning very well...... besides not eating properly..

Well i suppose i better go get myself some lunch and get ready to go to work this afternoon. i am liking my new working hours at the moment which is good but they will change once de and aidan get back from their holiday next week. but its been good to not work all day everyday...

Soo tomorrow i am not working and seb and I are going to go for a huge walk and i am going to make myself do some sort of exercise everyday. i am going to the gym thursday morning also as i don't have to work!! i have to start getting motivated and get out of this rutttttt that i am in.. and reach my goal weight... I can do it!!!!!!!

Look what i got today

I am so excited i have been wanting one of these for ages to help keep me motivated while exercising as i love my music!! so today i brought a IPOD shuffle it is so little and so cute and its bright orange. i couldn't find a pic of it on its own..

Anyways so at the moment i am downloading all my cds and putting them on there. 250 songs it can hold, im very excited.... thats 16 hours of music !! Woooohoooo

Well i will be posting some photos tomorrow becks came around before her big nite out and i got some hot ones :)

nite all

LOL The Sesame Street Quiz

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

LOL This is so not me :)