Eleanor Roosevelt:

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I really Hate my emotions Right Now

My eyes feel like balloons! Ever since being pregnant my emotions have changed. Every little thing makes me cry! I thought that once having sebastyn that that would change.. BooommmBoommm wrong!! Nothing has changed.

Today I have cried and cried and cried.. Why!!! I have no fucking idea. The smallest things have made me cry! Sorry excuse the french!!

I know there is a lot going on in my life right now, but for god sake you would think the waterfall would stop for a rest at some stage.

Soo on a happy note my lil man is walking walking walking. So taj watch out cause there is no stopping him now.... He looks so funny waddling from side to side and he gets so excited he tries to run but it just doesn't happen!! He needs to sllooowwww down!

It really frustrates me when he is with his dad and i hear all these stories from his family about what seb did this week, blaah blaah and you think that i should be happy.But im not, it irritates me to pieces because i feel that i am missing out on so much, and i feel like they are rubbing it into my face that "I saw him do this, this week" blaah blaah... And i know they probably aren't rubbing it in to me, but thats just how I feel.
The other thing that irritates me is when someone will say something about how we should be looking after seb or how we should raise him. That gets right down into my bones... I hate it. He is my son and I will raise him how I please. I couldn't give a rats arse if you got kids or not!!

The other thing that frustrates me, is that adam is so damn protective of him. Fusses over every little fall or knock that he has!!! Why don't you buy a bubble for him and put him in it??? And every time he cries or should I say crocodile tears he picks him up!! Grrrrr how many times do i have to tell you not to do that!!! But after seeing Seb today with adam he really has him under the thumb. He knows how to play his daddy that is for sure! and here i bring up the point again of us both raising him differently and disciplining him differently. He has started to bite i tell him off for it where adam doesn't! And Adam when you get a phone call from creche because seb has bitten another child what you going to tell them? Oh sorry I let him do that at home!! Well HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Anyways on that note, it was bloody hot today, and i went for a walk... LOL silly Ness :)

Oh and I went and seen brokeback mountain last nite!!! mmmmm ill do a post on that i think!! And I cried!!!!! But it was not what i expected that is for sure.

Nite all hope you enjoying your lonnnnggg weekend

2 comments:

The Candid Bandit said...

Dear Ness,

It's very understandable for you to feel like that cause you've had so much happen in your life lately and not all of it is good.

I don't think you should let your tears worry you too much. It's very understandable and normal.

Really good news to hear that Seb is walking. We should all go out for coffee sometime soon. Why not Monday afternoon?

All the best, we'll ring you on Monday,

Love Matty
(and Beck)

Jadey said...

Aww hunny I understand what you are say8ing and it must be so hard to have two different ways and having people in your face telling you how to do things etc. I am sure you are a very good mum and you don't need that.