The Vanessa That Was

I have been doing a clean up of my computer and have been going through all my photos and thought that i would do a time line from where i have come from to where i am now... even though i still have alot of work to do its amazing to see the changes.. I can see them that is for sure...

These two photos are from Sept 2005 when adam and I were in China. Seb was 5 months old. the photo of me and adam is where i went ok i need to do something about my weight. i was 90kgs there...

This photo is March 2006. I was about 85 kgs here..... this nite bek and I hit the town for a deserved girls nite out!!

This is me on cup day November 2006 I think i can't remember off the top of my head but i was about 76 kgs something around there....

Here is me from ummm two weeks ago.... im now 78 kgs I have come a long way that is for sure! My goal weight has always be 65 kgs!! If i can get to 70kgs i will be happy... the lowest weight i have got to was 72kgs and let myself slip again!!! so its time to get my shit together and really work my arse off instead of fluffing around and sayin ill do it one day, because one day it will be to late!

No Rules

So for the next two weeks im on holidays which means no rules. no getting up to an alarm and doing what i want when i want.. i shouldn't say no rules because these holidays im working my arse off in the gym and going to eat as healthy as i can..

I have 4 weeks until Darby day and 5 weeks until the wedding.. and i need to get my arse into serious action.

I still have a child that is for sale also!! soo please anyone takers??

Well this rain is awesome but so need so much more!! take care all and hope you all have awesome weekends

--Blank--

I didn't know what to call this post so i called it blank.... Im feeling a little down today which is the first time in a long time. I got a thinking about life, and where i want to go, and i suppose what really got me thinking was that aidan and de went to a conference on the weekend to the man who appears in the movie what the bleep, and where talking about the brain and how it works and how our thinking works.. it was very interesting.. anyway the think that go me thinking was that by about 35 years old our brain has experienced everything.. so for our brain to experience new things and make new path ways in our brain we need to get out of our comfort zone.....our brain plays very safe and our body likes to play out of its comfort zone!! example.. if your crossing a river and the river gets deeper as you go along your brain would like to play it safe and turn back around, where as the body would like to keep going... because we know where we have just come from and we know that the river in the direction that we come from is safe we want to turn around.. anyway i hope you are following if not well im sorry..

the point i am getting at is that we do this in our lives.. Me i am like that with men.. i have not slept or kissed another person in the last 4 years except adam.. Im to scared to step out of my comfort zone.. I know adam and i know what i am going to experiencing and expect.... Im scared of getting hurt and scared of experiencing that hurt i suppose... anyway i just thought that was very interesting, because i had my chance to take the pick on 72 hot men hehehe this weekend and didn't go there... My brain was playing safe...

I have my two weeks holidays coming up next week and i cant wait, im gong to be working my arse off in the gym, relaxing, do the things i want to do in the first week as i don't have sebastyn.. in the second week im going to spend a few days with my dad in melbs which will be nice, he will be at work during the day but that doesn't matter cause seb and I will keep ourselves entertained.

Well better be off as my eyes are getting tired... Mmmm i s feel like ice cream right now..

Pssstttt!!

So im sitting in my loungeroom right now writing this post! my wireless is finally working! after ringing bigpond again and them telling me that they will have to send someone out to see why it is not working but i bloody fixed the problem myself. Good tech help they are :)

Awwww i am feeling it today! ails and i watched the sun rise this morning :) LOL what a blast of a weekend. make sure you go to her blog to check out the photos.... lots and lots of boys and footy trips!!! Ohhh and what a tart ails has been this weekend...... I did score!!! LOL!! a stubby holder!! hahahha.... as good as its gets for me!!

Well its time to get my act into gear and start behaving as i have some massive weekends coming up with hens nites, the races, wedding and work seminars!! I feel like i am booked out until xmas!! my god thats not far away either!

attention all FLashers

Hehe how hot are these pictures :)

What an awesome nite last nite.... been drinking since 12pm today heeheheheh ails and i are hitting the town again to go boggy.. love her work!!!


Ohhhh so the whole point of my blog title is that i forgot to tell you about my weekend last weekend. last weekend i was bogging on the dance floor here and a chick decided to lift her dress up and i saw her pink bits.. oh was not nice at all...... and then..... last nite when we were out a guy decided to show me his testicle!! ohhhh the things i am attract..... sooo.. yeah what next??

have a good weekend and tg the cats !!!! love you linda xxx

More Male or Female

I did some searching and did this test :)

You Are 60% Feminine, 40% Masculine

You are in touch with both your feminine and masculine sides.You're sensitive at the right times, but you don't let your emotions overwhelm you.You're not a eunuch, just the best of both genders.

Its Raining Is Pouring!

I wish it was pouring!!! Just dropped my brothers car off to get fixed after our little accident! and seb and I walked home.. It was pleasant for him as he was snugg as a bug in his pusher under cover while poor mummy didn't have a jacket and got a little wet.. It was nice though. took me about 45 minutes to walk home...

Going to set Ratatouille today with Ails which will be fun.. we are taking sebbie too.. i am looking foward to seeing it.

Tonite we are going to see Little Birdie play which will be fun too!! Concert concerts its great. im loving going to see bands live..

Got our tickets for darby day.. i am so excited.. I have been told that we won't even see a horse.. Ohhhhh and i got a hat.. LOL!!! wait until you see it!!!! Linda you will be very impressed.. Oh and guess what!! as those of you who know me well and im not a girlie girl i will be wearing a dress and high heels and make up.... Yeah im sure im going to be dressed to impress :)

Had my weigh in at the gym yesterday. for the past 3 weeks my weight has stayed the same which i am happy about because of all the drinking i have been doing :) But my body fat has gone down. which is good :)

I am doing boot camp at the gym for 8 weeks which will start in the first week of october :) Its called Millitary miss and you have 2 sessions a week!! i cant wait. Its going to be awesome :)

Well better go check on the little man as he is watchin IROBOTs his favourite movie at the moment!!! least its better than wiggles and elmo in grouch land..... think if i have to watch them one more time im going to turn into elmo or a wiggle :)

Take care everyone enjoy the rain and be good :) LOL!!!!

WeekEnd Rapt

Ok where does one start... lets first by saying i have never been to something as awesome as the silverchair and powderfinger concert last nite! It was unbelievable and there were thousands and thousands of people! and they sang a song together. right at the end and that was pretty special!! I didn't even get anywhere near close to the stage but had pretty good view from where we were! $6 for a VB which is Firetrucking stupid! but anyways!! went out afterwards, danced my little arse off and lined up in the taxi rank for an hour which was delightful! NOT!!

Ohhh i went shopping yesterday and brought myself a weight set with bench... yeah pretty awesome. I am starting a 6 week challenge thing which i will eventually put on here as it is easy as pie!! and thought well if i can't get into the gym at least i can come home and work out and now i have no excuses :) I have a busy few months ahead of me and i really want to be looking my best so today is my last day of piss farting around and actually getting my arse into this. I have been pondering and making excuses for too long and my finger has now been pulled out..

So i have the fit ball the skipping rope and the weights, plus my gym membership i should be kicking some fat and toning some muscles in no time, with a balanced diet of course..

What else.. ohhh today i went for a drive to Rochester as that is where my grand parents live and caught up with my sister and Taj my grand parents and my aunty and uncle... My dad was also there as he drove over.. But i got to drive his BMW on the way home.. i felt so cool.. *LOL* They are really nice to drive actually.. such a sterotypical type i am..*LMAO* driving behind that wheel in my $5 sunglasses and tracksuit pants and jumper.. I said to my brother Ohh now all i need is the bling :) anyway if i never own one least i can say i have driven one :)

and finally today my darling little precious boy who is up for sale by the so anyway i will take all offers... and just so you can see how adourable he is this was taken about 20 minutes...

Silverchair and PowderFinger

Yes ladies and gentleman i am going to be dancing my sexy booty licious arse off tomorrow nite with some hot men!!! Yes thats right Silverchair and Powder Finger! Two of my favourite bands! My dad and his wife are coming up to look after the terror while my brother, his friend Jackie and I hit the showgrounds for one awesome nite! I cant wait! i have been looking forward to this for ummmm since the day i found out they were coming to Bgo....

Sooo if you hear on the news that a woman has been arrested for breaking security fences well it will be me :)

Have a top weekend everyone be safe and dont forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them!

Hey by the way........ put your thinking caps on and tell me some awesome hens nite games :)

Cioa

Howdy Partner

Howdy everyone!!

Its so good to have my communication back with the world.. i don't know how much longer i could of put up with telephone banking i tell you!!!

So there you go hope you enjoy my new snack picture, courtesy of ails :)

My stomach is hurting at the moment not only from my PT that i had yesterday but also from reading and looking at ails blog today! even though i had seen the photos before the little comments and stuff just tip it all off.. BUT ails you left the best bit out!! the video!!! you will have to put that on :)

Hehehehehehehehehe hahahahahaha

I finally got my internet in the mail today! wi fi to only have the modem that we got have a faulty wi fi in it!! sooo now i have to wait another forking 4 days for them to send me a new modem so that i can use wi fi.. but least i got the net. and my god i had broadband before but i got a new faster speed and its zippy zippy!!

i have been baking my arse off today!! Banana cake and lemon sour cake.. Mmmm my house smells so yum!!

Settled into the new house, after everything that happened... and yeah! got silverchair and powderfinger this weekend.. My god am i excited.. and umm by the way ladies..

I am a really big vin diesel fan and he is coming to Bendigo!! yes ladies...... but he is staying with me so don't bother!! :) LOL

well might ice me cake before the terror wakes up from his sleep!

ill be back for a indepth post shortly!!

Quick Update

hey still not got internet at my new house will be this week had a sleep over at ails last nite as we got totally smashed last nite and thought that while i was here i would do a quick update


so where do i start.. the move maybe LOL!!! well moving went ok until an old man decided to pull out in front of me and i hit him in my brothers car!! yeah was not nice.. then i forgot to put the Fuc&^%ing hose in the sink in the laundry and flooded it in the new house all in one day.. so ummm yeah was great..

what else!! nothing really just been busy unpacking and being lazy and working my arse off..

take care all

By the way make sure you read ails blog shortly!!!! :) The "Forking Lasse" is back .. LOL

Sleep Deprivation

This is how i look at the moment, my eyes popping outta ma head.can someone please give me some good sleeping pills that will put me to sleep for the next 48 hours and then i can wake up and my house has been moved and everything unpacked, and the old house cleaned... I would appreciate it and i would be very grateful!!

it is 9.47 at nite and im just eating tea!! yeah thats got t be good going to sleep on a full belly!!

have had no car the last couple of days so been walking everywhere, even walked to work yesterday morning.. LOL freezing cold!!!

Well might transfer my little man from his lightening couch to his bed for one last sleep in it in this house.. Can't wait for this to all be over.. By the way im car shopping too :)

Lazy Babe!

Just got onto becks blog and saw here audition for singing bee. You rock!

anyways i a feeling like this seal at the moment with my blogging. Been very lazy! not catching up on what people have been up to and most of all not writing anything!

I am moving house this weekend which will be exciting, i am looking forward to that something new and also something modern. im going to be in the house for the first week on my own which will be interesting, as Cj is going to qld for a mini holiday....

this weather has been awesome.. i am sooo looking forward to summer... i love the heat!!

I have been going to the gym heaps and running heaps too.. my weight has been up and down but i am getting back on track of it and have re evaluated my goals now and back on track

i have heaps to say but not enough time.. as im scoffing down my lunch now and have to have a shower and get ready for work

im still alive and still kicking it! well my lillte cherubs take care and i will be back in full swing soo

xxxxx

Accident Prone

Up at the hospital again last nite with a child who may hae a broken nose, not much the doctors can do as long as he can breathe ok. all they said was it would heal in 5 - 7days and that they only we have to worry about is cosmetic look.. anyways he is like is father in that aspect. adam was verty clumsey as a child!!

On another note, my house looks like a bomb has hit it with all the packing that is going on. i have so much shit!! i didn't realise! im having a huge clean out that is for sure!

Well i will have a new email address soon also which will be nesr@bigpond.com as i am changing provider so i have have wifi at the new house :)

so only 5 more sleeps until i start moving i can't wait!!

Our New House

This is how i am feeling at the moment, like a cheeky happy monkey.... Got a house, feel great in myself, getting our holiday under control for January, i got a long weekend coming up soon, and i am staying humble otherwise something will come along and bring me back down to earth..

Chris and I got a new house.... its 3 years old and i can't wait to move in next weekend. Here are some pictures of it... My favourite part of this house is the oven,... and when you see the picture you will understand why.... I love to cook and so does my brother and its one huge oven.. and also a huge back yard!! lots of room for sebastyn and co to run around in and lots of room for us to do what we want to do!!

So this is our huge back yard :)

This morning i have killed my phone as i have been on it all morning making phone calls to arrange connections for everything and disconnections for this house.

My god moving house is a tendious process... i am looking forward to packing though as we have to down size, as it only has three bedrooms which means i get to do some spring cleaning :) i can't wait!! Ails has actaully inspired me as she has been cleaning and was telling me about christmas cards that she has kept from over the years, and i was like i keep them too and now it is time to get rid of them.

Well i think its about time that seb and I head into the shower and go and get some stuff from the supermarket.

My dad is coming up to see me tomorrow so that will be nice.

see ya

The Goat

To Start off i thought i would start with my star sign. The goat..

I thought i would do some research about my star sign and find out all about me and compare it with THE GOAT......






THE CAPRICORN

Capricorn Positive Traits
Practical and prudent Ambitious and disciplined Patient and careful Humorous and reserved
Capricorn Negative Traits
Pessimistic and fatalistic Miserly and grudging

The practical and prudent Capricorn sun sign will be the first to tell you if your new idea just does not make common sense. They are great refiners, taking people creative ideas and fine tuning them, adding direction and practical application.
These people are very ambitious and disciplined. They will climb the corporate ladder steadily, and with honor. You can count on them to get the job done and to go well above and beyond the call of duty.
The show extreme patience when dealing with short tempered people, they can listen to a long winded rant and still stay cool and calm.
They have a very good personality, and have a great sense of humor. Capricorn's humor is more a sarcastic, and dead pan type humor, but works very well because they have what it takes to pull it off.

I don't agree with being prudent!!! I am so not a prude!!!!! far from it!!!

THE MOUNTAIN GOAT

For the mountain goat is a loner. An edgy, introverted soul. who abhors crowds and puts is nimble legs to work in the great outdoors.

Mountain goats are not risk takers and need to feel solid ground beneath their feet before making any major decision.

The mountain goat's desire to find a mate can lure it from its solitary hideout, and it seeks partners with strong personalities that promise protection in an unfriendly world. However, when choosing a mate, it will quickly withdraws if it fails to get a commitment. This behavior is often interpreted as desperation and some relationships are doomed before they get off the ground.
A relationship with a mountain goat is an exercise in ups and downs. Even though its emotional fragility causes the premature death of many love affairs, provide its partner remains faithful, the mountain goat will honor it with commitment and fidelity. For mountain goats are unconditional with their love and try hard to make their relationships work.

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Interesting!! I can see many of these traits in me especially with the ups and downs in relationships because it was a rollercoaster with adam and I that is for sure!!

I am always putting people first in my life that is for sure before i think of myself! I think alot of people do that though! its in our nature i believe!

Patience is another thing i don't agree with because my patience level is very limited. I must admit it has got better with sebastyn being born as you need patience with a child, but my temper easily comes when patience level has bursted..

For those who know me i am determined person when i put my mind to it! I am easily side tracked also!!

TODAYS QUOTE

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. -Joshua J. Marine

New Direction

Ok so im going to do something a bit different and fun with my blog ... my post are going to be based on animals!! Mmmmmmm are you intregued? Good stay tuned!!

I should never say Never

I should never say never but i am saying that i am never going out drinking again!! I remembered saturday morning ummm afternoon why i stopped drinking and going out!! having not being drinking in about 8 weeks and then hittin the 8% alcohol drinks i was trashed on friday nite!! hehehehe, maybe not as bad as beckie :) hehehehe thats the first time i think i have seen becks like that :) you are such a doll and i had so much fun!! I felt fine until my phone started bipping at me and ringing at me!! then my stomach was telling me it needed something to eat and drink!! yeah well the water i drank didn't last long!! back up it came!!

Besides being in Bed all day saturday and being a sook, adam and I took seb down to Melbourne on the train on sunday!! and to the zoo!! it was so much fun!! i think we need to organise a bloggers day at the zoo... pack our own lunches or something as there is a big grass area to sit or otherewise they have sleep overs.... hehehe dont you think that would be fun??

I have heaps of photos of our day which i will post up!!

Well ladies and gentleman I leave you with this quote

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare

Humble

I have been trying to say humble but, this week!! well i have been in an awesome mood and great spirits even thought my exercise and eating has been crap and then too top it all off we get evicted from our house! Yeah i know! poor ness and chris, but guess what!! i don't care anymore im over the anger and i am really going to miss this house, but there is a reason for it!! Its time for cj and I to find somewhere else!!!

i suppose i am a little bit hurt because i feel like all i do is pack and move, i have a job that i am stable in and thought we had a house that we are stable in and then this! bammmmmmm!! hits ya!!! it reminds me as a kid!!! moving here to there been taking here to there, no stability!!! and now its happening all over again.. Why am i attracting this?? what is the universe trying to tell me!!! That i am suppose to be a gypsie??? LOL!!!! maybe thats it!!

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend.. i sure will be.. hitting the town tonite, after going to the gym and doing pump, and guess what i am going to run into the gym.. thats right!! RUN!! im loving running even though its kills me and my legs i love it!!

Take care all love you all and be good.. and by the way i will be catching up on blogs this weekend sorry everyone who i read :)

Ness

Naughty and Nice

Naughty i feel like being and nice, well i am :) hehehe

Thanks for the comments guys!!! i just needed to vent and Becks no you have not made me feel that way so get that outta ya head!!

Hope you don't mind me writing this mum :)

My mum reads my blog and keeps updated about sebastyn not that i have done alot of updating about him lately so that is coming!! but here title in her email back was

smile.. it makes the darkest of days bright!!! I really liked that so thank you!!! There is alot of history between us and alot of things that will never be forgiven but you get to a point in your life where enoughs enoughs move on, things happen!!! I had not spoken to my mum in many years and i found out i was pregnant and one of the first things that went through my head was, oh my god what happened if mum died tomorrow and never got to see her grandson!! I would have had so much regret and anger about it.....I stewed over this for ages but i really wanted to let her know that i was pregnant and that she was going to be a grannie again!! I suppose the point i am getting at here is that life is so short!! we all do things for a reason, and so many people REGRET so many things... but you should never regret anything you do you should learn from everything you do!! we all make bad choices in life but we make our choices for a reason..

anyways i have been feeling a little better about the whole "back burner" situation and i have come to a point now where i am like so be it move on, get on with life! no point dwelling about it there is nothing you can do you just be there for who ever needs you... and then i was like hang on am minute what about me!! i seem to always bloody put everyone else first!! what about bloody me!!! Soooo one of the exercises i had to do for butterfly program was write down how much time i have to myself and the things i do for me.. Well that was a very interesting exercise for the whole week i did about 5 things for me which took me about 3 hours!! out of a whole week.. kinda shows nessy needs some more pampering..

Well this is a really long post so i might get to the picture part then.. there is some pictures from our xmas in july party and my darling lil man and family

enjoy

love your boobies brooke :) i had such an awesome time!! and i was really silly just ask the girls i love being about to be silly and really let my hair down.. and that is what i did!!

This was our bloggers party!! was sooo yummmm.... ,my favourite photo is coming right up!!

This is ails at koko black.. she helped me break my cherry.. we got all of that for $20 it was awesome who needs men for orgasms when your got koko black!!!

This is my darling brother and seb giving him a kiss.. He loves Uncle Krys!!! they could play and play for hours these too..

This is I and terror!!!!! i like this photo because our eyes are both so wide open..... we look crazy!!

and last but not least our new lounge suite.. its bliss its leather its awesome.. it smells awesome, and we put our old lounge suite out the front, for the summer to come!! i can't wait!!

Pushed to the back burner

Its not a nice feeling but im feeling very distant from some people very close to me as of late! family and friends....

I have tried to say that it is ok we go through these patterns and that everything will work out, and that there is a reason for this but it just not gelling with me!

Yes i have become a non smoker, and a non drinker and i have not been out in ages which means i have not really socialised with my friends alot, so that would explain why i have not really had anything to do with them at the moment, but when it comes to family i don't know!! I just feel like i have been pushed to the back burner!! my job is done and im not needed anymore! I don't like that feeling, that feeling of not being wanted.. Its really eating at me, and i don't really want to push the issue either....

anyways on a good note i had my monthly measurements at the gym this week! and i want to share with you all my results. In a month i have lost 2% body fat, 2kgs and 8cm!! i was bloody rapted with that i tell you! so I just have to keep up the good work and i will get my achievements!!

So im in the middle of cooking tea and just wanted a vent!!

Nite all hope your weekends were peaceful!!

How sad is this!!

Soo i have had a really shit day today but anyways you know how we all eat something unhealthy when we are down.. well the only thing i could find in my house was a bloody banana or an apple so i had a banana.. that is just soooo sad..

well going out to tea tonite with becks and ails as it is ails birthday on friday but she won't be around!! just looked at the time.. suppose i should get ready!

Body Balance

Im very sore today!!! i did body balance for the first time yesterday! i didnt think holding positions for a few minutes would make you sweat but also make you sore! i really enjoyed the class and i think my muscles enjoyed it also!!! I also did pump on friday nite the first time in ages!!! Im really trying to incorporate some classes into my weekly gym work outs just for some variety!!

A very good friend of mine had a baby boy this week Bryce James he is so little, i forget how little they are and another friend of mine had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago!!!! Im getting cluckey :0) with all the people bringing their babies into work and my friends having babies its making me think!!! Will i ever have more childiren? or is sebaystn it?? I always said that i would have a bus load!! I know there wont be children in the next 5 years thats for sure! Im still very young and i am enjoying my job and what layes ahead of me with my career and work...

still organising my trip to qld!! deciding where to stay! accomodation is the most expensive thing i tell you!! there is a few children friendly places in surfers paradise that would be good, but im not real keen on staying right in surfers!!! just doesn't appeal to me at all!

well while my little man is having a sleep i shall get some stuff done!!

Take care all and be in touch soon

Bald is the New Blonde!

Wow what an inspiring and emotional weekend i have had in melbourne. I have so much to say but don't want to overload so i will keep in short and sweet

I have never notice so many bald men in my life, and my god how many hot guys there where!! But besides that meeting Dr. John Demartini would have to be up there in my highlights! what an amazing guy and so full of knowledge.

My question i asked him was what his favourite quote was and i knew he would come out with "I am a genious and i apply my wisdom." which he did but then he looked me straight in the eyes and said "no matter you have done or what you have not done you are worthy of love" he nearly made me cry and coming from him was just a priviledge.

Sooo i also heard Lisa Curry Kenny speak and what an awesome and amazing women she is!! i so want her six pack and i am aiming for that six pack i can tell you :)

We heard many chiropractic people from america who have been very successful in their time! it was worth while!

I have been feeling great and have been exercising heaps. running is going well except for my knees hurting a llittle, but that will go away!

My eating has been great, and my confidence is growing.

Adam and I are great which makes life so much easier. I am loving every minute that i have been spending with him lately and also sebastyn. The "family" time is great!! I have a wonderful. amazing little boy who is just beautiful and has such a great memory!!! I can't get over how good his memory is!

I have so much i have to say and i will have to do a few post about my weekends and go over my notes because i have some really inspiring stuff. I have been had such an emotional weekend, and how wonderful it is to see the chiropractic world unite and been so loving!!

I learnt alot about myself and where and what i want to do and what i am worth in this world! I am so proud of who i am and the achievements that i made and the many more that are going to come.

I hope that everyone is well and safe and had good weekends!!

Quick Update

Hey everything going awesome..

Just wanted to let you all know that i am going to melbs this weekend for a seminar with work! But the awesome news is that i am going to meet John Demartini. For you who know who i am talking about or don't know he is on "The Secret". my work does alot of business with him, and we are having a hour consultation with him, and i have to think of one question to ask him that will help benefit our clients/ or to do with work!! I have to get thinking about that

I am so excited!!!

See ya of to PT now :)

Values!

Everyone has values and everyones are different! I first did my values when i started at work and have done them a couple of times since and they really haven't changed that much!

Something in my head snapped this week which was really interesting and a big turning point for me!
I have been stewing over a few family members and looking at what should be important to them because these things are my top values and have not been considering what their top values are. And I finally understand and realised and accepted that our values are different. I could actually see it!! I finally saw it! And do know what, i feel great about it now, i don't have any issues about it!! Because where i am not getting what i want from them i am getting it from somewhere else!!!

Hope that make sense to you all!! Just needed to vent that information.

Well my little buns are getting tighter :) hehehehe i have been into the gym every day this week.. i feel great!!! I have been really good with my eating, and starting to feel the change in my fitness already!!!! its amazing!!

I feel that everyone is kinda over blogging at the moment and not motivated about it! Which is sad in a way because i enjoy catching up on what everyone has been doing! Suppose it goes back to peoples values and whats important in our lives! I hope that everyone is ok and safe and well!!!

Butterfly Program - Week 2

I had my first weight and body fat results program! I have decided that i am not going to post them as they are not my main focus for doing this, but a major player in the whole picture, but i don't want to get down on myself if i don't lose weight or my body fat goes up, because somewhere in my week i would have achieved something else, and i want to stick to talking about my positives not the negatives :)

Soooo i took my awesome red box into the gym and we went over it and talked a little but why i put certain things on it etc etc, and then i got my homework for week 2. This week i have put things in my box that will help me along the way and also things that i would like to have in my life. Soooo for example i am going to QLD in January for a holiday so i might put pictures of QLD in their and a bikini..... everyday i am to look in the box to help inspire and motivate me...

Also i have to write a diary about all the food that i eat, when i wake up and go to sleep and if i feel tired when i wake up, how many hours sleep i have, if i wake during the nite, how much caffenince, alcohol or nicotine i have and my feelings.... Then we will talk about it at my next session

Sooo i decided that i will be right with the alcohol and nicotine part as i am not having any alcohol during this 12 weeks and Im nearly one month of quitting smoking :)

I have been great, i have got up early every morning this week and have gone into the gym. This morning i did combat!!! Don't know if i will do it again!!! its very high impact which i liked but my back didn't like it very much!!!

Sooo this morning i don't have my little man as i have to go into work for a work meeting Yippie, but I will have all afternoon with him!! Hopefully he will be in a nice mood for me today!

Got my PT Session tonite, and then a massage which i think my body needs with all this exercising i am doing!

I hope you enjoyed my story on sleep! i was allowed to take the book home yesterday from the gym, there is some other interesting facts in their that i will have to update you on in the near future.

Take care everyone!!

Nemo On Ice

Oh my god! did anyone go and see nemo on ice?? It was bloody awesome! Sebastyn had a ball he kept yelling out "hello nemo, hello marlin hello dori it was funny and cute all at the same time! He sat on my brothers knee the whole time clapping and laughing and go ohhh wow!!! Next Disney on ice is high school musical think i might give that one a miss and wait and see what they bring out next!!! if any gets a chance to go and see a disney on ice go for it!! they are very cleaver :)

Had the best nite sleep in a very long time last nite which was awesome, i even woke up this morning before my alarm went off. Was in at the gym bright and early this morning! I am starting to run which im enjoying. i get on the tred mill and set it so i do a few minutes walking a few minutes running, ween myself into it!!!

I feeling good and more energy which is good!! but we will see how long that lasts, as one of the ladies at work has gone on holidays which means i am working every shift for the next 2 weeks!! See how my energy levels are after that!!

Well better be off and get myself ready for work this afternoon.

Take care ya all!!

Obesity and Sleep

I was reading a book at the gym this week which i wasn't allowed to take, about obesity and sleep, which i found really interesting! I did some research on the web today about it and this was basically what the book was telling me! I found this really interesting, I hope you guys do too!

Obesity and Sleep

A recent study reveals that the number of hours slept has an influence on the risk of obesity. The less we sleep, the more at risk we are. This fact could explain why people who suffer from sleep apnea, a known thief of sleep, tend to gain weight at an above normal rate.

It's a known fact that obesity is a major factor in sleep apnea, and is often listed as one of the main causes. But that appears to be a two-way street. Once a person becomes a victim of sleep apnea, without very strict dietary control, even more pounds pile on.
Sleep apnea causes sleep deprivation, and, of course, the more sleep deprived a person becomes, the less active he or she is. Less exercise causes weight gain, but is that the only reason we gain weight?

The study, conducted by researchers at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health and the Obesity Research Center, suggests a link between the risk of being obese and the number of hours of sleep each night.

-Statistics show that people who sleep 7-8 hours a night are far less likely to be obese than those who sleep 4-5 hours a night. Sleep deprivation causes an increase in body levels of the hormone grehlin and a decrease in body levels of the hormone leptin. Grehlin increases appetite while leptin decreases appetite. So, those who sleep less are likely to have a stronger appetite and consequently eat much more.
-Sleeping less can cause poor food choices. We may feel too tired to cook a wholesome meal or lack the motivation to stick to a healthy eating plan. When we are tired it is easy to reach for quick and comforting foods, which are likely to be full of fat and sugar.

-The body needs sleep for muscle growth and repair to occur, as well as for recovery of muscles after a workout. Repair and growth occur during rest and rely on routine sleep patterns.

-Growth hormone is secreted in the greatest amounts during sleep. Growth hormone is not only beneficial for those who wish to increase their muscle mass, but for anyone concerned with their weight and body composition. Growth hormone plays a role in metabolizing protein, fats, and carbohydrates.

-A lack of sleep reduces the body's ability to process and store energy from the food we eat, including properly metabolizing carbohydrates.

-Sleep deprivation can increase blood levels of the hormone cortisol. Prolonged high levels of cortisol can lead to breakdown of muscle tissue, an increase in stored abdominal fat, weakened immune system, and can affect thyroid function.

-If you have not slept well you may be lacking in coordination. A lack of sleep can have similar affects on the body as alcohol in terms of coordination and reaction time. This could cause an increased risk of injury when working out.

-Lack of sleep over an extended period can cause increased blood glucose levels and may increase the risk of diabetes. Increased blood glucose levels can lead to overproduction of insulin, which can then cause the body to store more fat.

-Performance in sports may be hampered by inadequate sleep because of the body's inability to metabolize glucose for fuel and recover from previous workouts.

-If you are awake longer you are probably going to eat more. Burning more calories by being awake instead of asleep does not make up for the extra calories consumed in those extra hours.

The Butterfly Program

Im excited, and glad that i have this program to help me achiee my goals! As you all know my best buddy is getting married in November! well she also works at fernwood and she told me about this butterfly program. I was like sweet i would love to do it! The butterfly program is over 12 weeks and is about personal growth and development. Every week we have a topic and we also need to pick two goals, one healthy eating goal and one personal goal.

Week 1 - Where i want to be in 12 weeks time? I said to sheree that i would love to be 70kgs by your wedding, i want to decrease my body fat, i want to start running, i am not drinking any alcohol for 12 weeks and im not concentrating on my weight over the 12 weeks. Its about my body fat, my cms and my health and fitness.

My goals this week for health eating was to cut my portion sizes down and my personal goal was to go into the gym at least 3 times!

My motivation has been great i didn't have seb on wednesday nite and i went into the gym, me and him went for a walk into town on wednesday and my alarm was set for 5.45am Thursday morning and i went and did a work out before work!!! i am so bloody proud of myself!

So i had some homework to do this week! and that was to create a box of the life i want and who i am... I have been having fun doing it! im not finished with it yet and i have decided to leave the bottom of the box blank for when i have finished this program to add more stuff to see how things have changed!!! i also have to think of rewards for myself and how often i want these rewards, so if anyone has any ideas please let me go!!

Im really motivated and inspired right now and everything in my life is balanced! Im grateful for everything that i have and everything that i have achieved to this date! and things are only going to get better from here.

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and catch you all soon

Beautiful Butterfly

Vanessa - (Greek) means beautiful butterfly

That is my goal is to feel like a beautiful butterfly - not only have i started my PT's again - oh i feel sore today, but i am also joining a 12 week program called the Butterfly program. I don't know much about the program at this stage, i will find out more this afternoon at my first session... But i do know that we set out goals, I do challenges every week and I do a vision box which i am looking forward to doing!!! Sooo i feel great that i am using all my resources to get myself back on track! Im sick of my weight yo yoing and im sick of feeling like shit!

My coughing has finally settled down, and i am so happy about that!! Now its time to get my fitness back on track and lose some weight, body fat and most of those some CM's.

More about the butterfly program later!!!

Welcome to July

Welcome to July. End of financial year and the start of the new one... Tax Time!! I LOVE!!!! and welcoming the rain!!! SOoo i have microsoft money on my computer and i have decided that this financial year i am going to see how much i spend and what on etc etc!! taking control of my finances :) About time i do that i think!! Im excited about do this because it will be interesting to see where i spend my money! i think sebastyn, but you just never know!

Lee and Taj just left and that was lovely too see them!! the boys always run a muck when they are together. I vaccumed and mopped the house yesterday! and ummmmm you can't tell :)

Well i hope that everyone has had a good weekend and relaxed and ready for another working week! I am going to be starting a new program at the gym ill fill you in more when i know all the details!! Help me to reach my goals!!

Cut My Head Off!! PLEASE

I want someone to cut my head off. I know our body only gives us enough pain that we can deal with but right now i am over this sore throat! i have had it for about a week now, well basically since i gave up the ciggas soo 2 weeks really!! and its frustrating me!!! i have now started garglling the salt to try and get rid of whatever infection i have there!!

My sister and nephew are coming to play with seb and i tomorrow and i am sooo looking forward to seeing them both since its been soooo long!!!!

Last nite Ails and I went out for tea at barzurk!! it was so yum!! anthony Munden was in town and we were going to go see him but an early nite called us both!!

then an 8am message from ails this morning that she forgot to send me last nite, woke me and i was out of bed and in at the gym by 8.30am!!! a hour cardio workout to start the day was awesome and then some shopping for the soul!!! brought two jumpers and a workout top for the gym!!!

And i just have to end this post with go BOMBERS~!!!!!

Have an awesome rest of the weekend everyone!

Body Change

My body is going through some huges changes right now, and god damn can i feel it!
As you all know i work at a chiropractor and in the last week I think i have had an adjustment nearly every day! Giving up the smoking, and getting rid of all these chemicals out of my body, is making it all scooo wifff!!!!

I am having some serious issues with my lower back and legs at the moment, so i have booked in for a massage today hoping that this will help eleviate some of the pain that i am feeling at the moment! I am wondering when this cough will go away also! i think if i cough anymore i am going to cough my lungs up!!! My sense of smell has come back... i can't believe it!! Its so funny when you smoke you don't smell smoke on someone, but adam came around the other nite, after being at a mates places and i was like grose you smell like smoke go away!!!

Soo yesterday was my first day at the gym!! And i did just take it easy as i need to get my back right and need to stop coughing before i go bullet a gate and work myself so hard i can't walk :) hehehe........ I felt really good about exercising, and i have missed it!!! I weighed myself, and i have put my current weight on the blog for you all to see. I am basically start from scratch again!!! but this time its going to be maintained..

Sooo today i am suppose to be going for a walk with Sebastyn, but the sky doesn't look very healthy right now, and i don't own a rain coat!!! I might sneak into the gym before my massage tonite!

The Power of Compliments!

Sooo i went through and did my weight and my measurements, and im pretty disguisted with myself! But i am now on the right path......

I was telling my bosses yesterday how i now have 4 months to get my arse into gear because im sick of feeling like shit and looking like a plump right now, and one of my bosses said to me i just wanted to tell you that i was looking at our website on the weekend(our work one) and how lovely we think you look in it. I didn't know what to say!!! i was like aww thanks. Then she went on to say we were going to sit down with you and tell you that its time you start looking after yourself... but after what i had told her about getting my arse into gear they didn't need to.

So i have now got a little book that i am taking to work with all my dates, goals, and plan for them to have for me, and make me accountable for doing my tasks!!! By having my goals and dates written down it makes it achievable for me.. by not putting a date down for having my goals achieved it could happen when ever.. but having the date I KNOW i have to do it!!

Anyway i just thought it was nice getting a compliment from my bosses who i didn't think would do something like that! Its nice to have someone out of the blue tell you that you look lovely!!! Its always from someone that never expect!!!

Sooooo watch out blog world. Ness is on her way!!!

My Best Friends Wedding!

My Best Friends Wedding is coming up at the start of November which gives me 4 months basically to get my arse into gear!

I have been lazy and not motivated about getting the body i want! I have now quit smoking which is the first step for me to get my body healthy! Today is 7 days since i last had a smoke. It has been easy this time! i think my big test will be when i go out again! which won't be for a while because i am giving up the grog also!

My body has been going through detox the last week! I don't know how much more my lungs can cough up. I think i will be coughing my lungs up soon.

So my aim by the end for today is going to have all my measurements done, and I will weigh myself at work tomorrow, and to have a program worked out that i shall follow to help me get my arse back into the gym and get my body to where i want it to be!!

Its time to kick some arse, this has dragged on for way to long. My frame of mind is where it needs to be, i just need all my friends to keep me going and to support me. If i am being lazy kick my arse :)

So on that note ill leave you with this quote today;

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing."

Deep & Meaningful

We have just done some new quotes for our walkbox at work and i was reading through them and there was one that just clicked with me and i had to share it.

Until today, you may have beeing waiting for someone to tell you something or give you something that would make you feel ok. Just for today give yourself permission to be ok with yourself. Accept that who you are and where you are is just right. Iyanta Vanzant

I read this quote and i cried. It really hit my heart with some issues that i have been trying to deal with. For so long i have been wanting a certain person in my life to tell me how proud they are of me, and that i have done a great job raising sebastyn and they are proud of my achievements and who i am today! and i read this quote and it hit me, I don't need there approval, because as long as i believe in my heart that i have done everything to the best of my ability thats all that should matter!

It would be nice to hear it from that person, but everything in life is balanced. Just because they don't tell me i hear it from other people, but i have not been acknowledging it because i have been thinking its not the same. Does that make sense.

So one quote has been a real eye opener for me and has put alot of things in perspective.

One that note i am going to leave you with this beautiful picture of Sebastyn doing cool dude. (wearing my beanie)

Mobile Phone

My darling son decided to drop my mobile phone in a cup of water so please could you email me your phone numbers to ness@aanet.com.au

Cheers Ness

Sweet Child of Mine!!! Not

Ok so today is my day off where i am suppose to relax and enjoy the day with sebastyn and do a little plodding around the house!! LOL!!! Well my dear child decided at 12am this morning that it wasn't time to sleep it was time to watch DVD's and scream and scream and scream some more! Soo about 4.30am he decided that it was time to finish watching dvds and go to sleep.. Finally well i thought ok you have not slept for 4 hours you will sleep in in the morning hahahahahaha fat chance of that happening at 8am he was wide awake bright as a button!!!

Im glad one of us was! Soo we went out in the cold and did some shopping then i had my review at work this afternoon and i asked De if she could please adjust him and my god you should of seen the leg length difference he had i am not joking it was about 3 CMS which is huge!! which also would be causing some discomfort for him! Sooo right now he is sleeping, while i update my blog and smell the lamb roast that i am cooking for tea which should be ready soon!

Off to seb's nans tonite where he will have a sleep over, and i will get a good night rest and be able to enjoy Prison Break in Peace. at about 3pm this afternoon i was about to put him on a plane to his fathers for the rest of the week! He is going through terrible 2's alright.

GYM
I was a little bit thrown aback today! i got a phone call from my gym to say i have not been in for a while.. well hello as if i didn't know that! I just thought are you desperate or something?? I will come in when im bloody ready too! Im finding it really hard to get motivated at the moment and I think thats because i got some issues i need to deal with, which im not ready to deal with which is why im holding back going to the gym! arggghhhh *sighs*

i think thats about it for now! stay safe everyone and ill leave you with this fact.

every 24 hours our body grows 34mm of hair

Tagged!

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

(1) At every sink in my house i have hand wash
(2) I am addicted to Jaga Bombs (hehehehe)
(3) My favourite colour is red
(4) My ultimate goal is to own a porsche
(5) I can't sit still
(6) I am missing my family
(7) I need a holiday!!

And I tag whoever :)

Rehab!

Okkkkk.. so i admit it!! i am a self proclaimed alcoholic right now :) If i stopped drinking i would probably lose 5 kgs! Im having a good time right now! i am enjoying going out and i am enjoying getting myself drunk and feeling shit the next day and waking up and wanting maccas or fish and chips as my hang over cure!! I am enjoying dancing and getting home at 6am in the morning! Is it right? probably not? am i hurting anyone? Yes.... myself so who has to live with that?? ME!!! I do!!!

I feel like i have gone off the rails! i admit that! i feel like i have got to a point in my life where i don't give a fuck anymore about anything..... I am feeling insecure about myself again, and who am I, and what i want out of life and where i want my life to go!! Its time for some soul searching again, where how and when i will do that, i don't know! My time is very limited right now, i find it hard to even have time to scratch my own arse.

I was saying to bekkie today!!! i am so tired and where has the me time gone??? LOL out the window!!!! My weeks with seb are my weeks with seb, my weeks without seb, i drink, go out catch up with my mates, and work, and i don't have my me time!!! am i making sense? I am missing my me time, but i don't like being alone right now!!! I don't want to be alone right now!! Maybe im scared because that soul searching will start when i am by myself, my brain will start thinking and i don't think i am ready for the answers just yet, because deep down i know what they are going to be and im not ready to face it!!

My head is so jumbled right now! My perspective on so many things is very fuzzy, I honestly thought that I was on track of things and knew the direction i wanted to take! Mmmmmm i have hit that fork in the road and don't know which way to go!!!

Something will happen and it will all become clear again i know, but until then, 1800 rehab/ show me the way......... is on the cards!! LOL!!!

Weekend

Wow what a weekend i have had!!

Where do i start??????? Mmmm maybe with Friday!!

Friday

Friday nite was awesome! I got to baby sit the wonderful behaved Bradman. Which was lots of fun but i was very tired. Ails came over for some catch up and some drinks, and filled me in on her precious baby (the cat)!!! Becks was here for a while before she hit the town to boggy!! For a well deserved nite out.

Sooo everything was going fine and lil bradman decided to wake up at 4am..... Sebbie heard his lil cry and came into my bed with me and bradman and was asking bradman if he was ok?? it was very cute!!! so the boys layed in bed and i tried to get some Zzzzz's but was a little scared to shut my eyes just incase the boys got up and ran a muck around the house!!! Lil Sebbie went back to sleep and bradman layed there will his eyes opened not making a boo!! So i thought ok i will see if he will go to sleep in sebs bed!! so off we went and he finally went to sleep.. only 5 minutes and he was awake again!! i finally got him back to sleep and then 5 mintes later he was awake again!! by this time it was about 6am, and both boys decided it was time to be wide awake............

Saturday

6am start. two boys in the mood for some early rising and some early fun!! straight to sebastyn rooms to pull out all the toys and see what they could play with!!! both giggling and next minute!! this one for you beck *i see a fire truck a big red shiny fire truck* started playing. Bradmans favourite toy!! its a ride on car.. that has music buttons that you press!!! Ohhhhh my poor tired eyes where not in the mood for it!! but i just let it go!!!! They were having a good time and thats all that matters!!

Sooooo for breakfast!! Mmmmmm coco pops :) hehehe what a treat :) bradman loved using his hands and putting the cocopops everywhere and watching seb how to use a spoon.. it was sooo much fun :) Becks turned up about 8.30am that morning after an awesome nite out. I so glad that you got the opportunity to go out and boggy for the nite girl... any time you want to do that just let me know :)

So the rest of the day was sleeping and attending to sebastyn and catching up on so doing nothing time..... Its good with seb out on lightening macqueen on finding nemo and i can have a shower and the hang the washing out and know that his eyes won't move from that tv..

Got some DVDs out with adam and we watched the pursuit to happyness and another one but i fell alseep in that movie :)

Sunday

Wow what an emotional day this was... CJ and I ventured to Kyabram for my sister Red Kite day and to see 19 people shave their heads. Two of the locals where younger people who had both losted sisters to cancer so they were getting their head shaved also in memory!!

It was a very emotional day!!!! Please find some photos below

So my sister got her head shaved for a good cause and has since told me she is very cold :)

ohh and one final thing ended up with seb in hospital with croup and a middle ear infection.. he is heaps better now...

Well thats the fill in from last weekend....

Two Weeks Gone

Heya everyone

I can't believe its been two weeks since my last post. How lazy am I. Its been a very very full on couple of weeks with my emotions been battered and bruised in lots of ways possible.

My sister and Her husband have decided to seperate after 4 years of marriage and a 3 year old son. as you all know i am very close to them so it has hit me like a tonne of bricks! Im here to support them all and that will never change. It made me re think my life and where im headed and what i want for my son and my life, and for Adam! Why is it that something like this always makes you think of your own relationships! Im not saying that tomorrow adam and I will be back together because that is far far from my mind, but it has opened my eyes to the way that i want to treat him and how i want to be treated and how I want Seb to know that his mum and dad love him very much no matter what happens and that we are both here from him! Family is so important to me and i want that normaility for sebastyn. Adam and I have been spending lots of time together with seb and with each other and it has been nice because, i am getting to know adam again on the friends level! Which we didn't really do when we first got together. I think our relationship has changed for the good!

Work has been crazy crazy crazy which is good. I was in sydney on the weekend for a seminar which was nice! I like sydney, its very different atmosphere to Melbourne and i found the air to be alot nicer and fresher than Melbs. sorry to all you melbs people :)

Im going to kyabram on the weekend as my sister is getting her hair shaved for red kite day. To raise money for families with children who have cancer! I am planning to get lots of before and after photos.

I have been hanging out with some new people here in Bendigo which has been great! Im getting out there and meeting people! which i should have done a bloody long time ago!

I am missing my friends though and you know who you are and I can't wait to catch up with you all soon.

Have a great week and weekend and I am so not waiting another couple of weeks to update you!

Take Care everyone and know that i am thinking of everyone.

PS Becks and Bradman it was so good to see you both on Monday! Beck your looking beautiful as ever and i must admit your looking healthy and relaxed :) Bradman is growing up so much and to hear him talking was great!! He is growing every day babes :) See you soon
xxx

Question - Update & a bit of that

ok the last couple of weeks














Spot Seb!!! hehehe was his birthday and i brought him a black board! he loves it. The following weekend adam and I took him to see Thomas and Friends, he loved going on all the different trains. It was a hot day and because it was so dry it was very dusty!! But it was a good to be able to show Seb that we can still do family things together :)


















I had the pleasure of looking after bradman a couple of weekends ago now for a few hours while Beck was at the hospital with Matty :) He is just a doll of a child and he had soooo much fun playing with all of sebs toys and exploring and having a good old laugh with my brother. I am glad to hear that Matt is recovering well. I am thinking of you Becks and missing you. Hope to see that beautiful smile of yours soon. The picture over is the house that we stayed in in Torque it is my sisters bosses house. It was awesome!!! it was such a nice weekend to spend with the family even though the weather was not the greatest for us until we decided to come home! We took the boys to the beach and seb was very scared... My dad got some funny photos so i will have to get them off him to load on here!!
















This was picture from upstairs!!!! further around to your right you could see the beach.....



It was so nice to have the family time together even though the boys were very cheeky and full on!!!!!! Seb hates being apart from Taj so night time was very aweful as seb would cry and cry and throw himself until he finally went to sleep.



What else is news!! its my last day of holidays tomorrow and then back to work!!! Its been nice to be able to spend a few days to myself, and i have enjoyed just being able to get up when i please and not have to worry about going to work and having seb ready by certain hour for creche!!!



Its pouring down rain here at the moment which is beautiful its funny how you miss what you don't have and then when you get it you wish it was a nice day :) does that make sense??



I am in the middle of budget planning at the moment as i want to buy a block of land but need more money that i thought to put the deposit on!! so give it another 12 months and i will own something of my own which i am very excited about !! then eventually maybe i will build my dream home :)



I have not step foot in the gym this week which i am both happy and sad about as it was the perfect opportunity for me to work my arse off for a week but on the other hand i have been on holidays so i just wanted to chill!!!



Well i think thats all for the moment!!!! Hope everyone else is doing well and i shall be catching up on your blogs over the next couple of day!!! I have beennnnn so slack




Ohhh and one last thing!!! i married my dream man :) Vin Diesel :) Mmmmmmmmm

Im Alive

Heya all

Sorry for the lack of post and comments lately, life has been very hectic at the moment. I have until Friday off work so i will endevour to update with some photos and stories over the last couple of weeks!

I have been in Torquay for the last 4 days and got home today, so now catchuing up on the house work and hundred loads of washing that comes from being away!

Well hope everyone is well!

Ness

Thoughts!

I could write about how i had a great weekend and that adam and i took seb to see Thomas and Friends in Maldon on the weekend (will have to post the pictures at a later date) but today i am really going to talk about my thoughts.

It is something I haven't done in a while and thought it was time to do!!!

I am 25 year old single mum with a 2 year old son with my whole life ahead of me and the whole world around me with so many opportunities that are out there for me, but for so long something has been holding me back.

I was in a relationship with a false me, a fake identity if you would like to say that, i was NOT being true to myself! I have my job, my friends and my family to thank for helping me find my way again. But really i should be thanking myself! I don't thank myself enough! Thanks Vanessa from bringing out the True you! I lost who i was for a very long time, i lost my friends my family and my happiness for someone I loved and who i thought was going to be my soul partner. I learnt a great lesson in life! Never ever lose yourself and your identity. People should love you for who you are and accept you for who you are, you should never change for someone.

I blamed so many people for where I am today and who I am today and why things happened in my life.. but really i have only one person to blame and that is me. I chose the destiny that i took, i choose my path that i want in live.... I have learnt a hell of lot in the last 2 years, i have learnt alot of lessons, people have come and gone from my life and have taught me something! I have learnt to grow up, to take care of myself and become a mother at a young age!! I have learnt to live a balanced life and be happy and have fun!

I was in self destruction mode after I had sebastyn, and I was not happy with myself at all. How can i find love or happiness if i am not inlove and happy with myself. How is someone suppose to accept and love me if i don't accept and love myself! I am writing this because before christmas i weighed 74 kilos and i weighed myself last week and i am now 80 kgs... that is only 4 kgs off my starting weight loss!!! yeah i know!! i only have myself to blame. I was lazy, eating shit, not exercising, but i was having fun going out, drinking spending time with people i have not spent time with in a long time!!! And it has only been in the last week especially from the help of a very special person and text messages every day that i realised I can do this.. I can have everything i want in life..... I can achieve my goals and dreams and live the life that i want to live.

I have so many positive people in my life from my friends to my family to my work! who make me see things in all difference ways!

The secret has been the hot topic in alot of people blogs lately. I first watched the movie when i started my job at the chiropractors. I am only bringing this up because at our staff meeting today we watched a chapter called "the secret to health." For those of you who have seen it you will know what i am talking about! Everytime i see this bit of the secret i always cry. Not because i am sad because i am happy and i know our thoughts and minds and bodies are so powerful. They call him the miricle man.. He was in a plane crash and was told he would be a vegetable and never be able to walk again. The only thing he has was his mind, and he said that he would walk of that hospital on christmas. And he did!! Just off the track a bit!! well not really!!

There is another movie called "What the Bleep do we know" There is a part in this movie where they talk about water particles. My point here is that our bodies are made up of 90% of water. Masaru Emoto did some research on water particles. and this is in the video. I have some photos below to show you! but he shows normal water particles what it looks like then he does a pray on the water, and then he also puts wording on the bottle of water that says" You make me sick i will kill you" and "Thank - you"!! it is amazing how the water particles look. The point i am getting at, is if this is what words can do to a bottle of water imagine what our thoughts are doing to our bodies???

Fujiwara Dam, before offering a prayer

Fujiwara Dam, after offering a prayer

You Make Me Sick, I Will Kill You

Thank you

I hope you get something out of this because i sure did!

I have now realised that i was looking at exercise as a chore and not something i love to do! And from that i have now set times aside that i go into the gym and work out! Because my body needs to be healthy and Fit! I love going to the gym and i love working out. i had my first PT session last friday and got absolutely pumped.... even though i felt sick during and after it, in the long run I know i will benefit from it and I feel good! I can achieve what ever i put my mind to!!

anyways i think i have written enough for one night! expect more posts like this as i have so much i need to get out of my head!

Good nite everyone and have lovely weeks and hope to catch some of you on the weekend :)

John Mayer

Hey everyone

I had written this huge big post and lost it all on monday !! so i just wanted to let you all know that i had an awesome time at John Mayer and that there will be some photos coming.

Hope everyone had an awesome easter and gots of choccy of the easter bunny

ness

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEBASTYN REGINALD ANDREA.

Here sebbie was just born... i can't believe how much he has changed and how grown up he has become over the last two years. Its very emotional for me actually!!!